He threw the rock he was holding. "I'd rather burn to ashes down under before ever repeating this day ever again.”
“Yup,” coughed Wheezy, who was the only one actually listening to Smart Guy. Greasy was staring at the desert sand, Stupid was examining a rock he picked up, and Psycho was looking at the clouds in the sky. Roger was close to Stupid and away from Smart Guy. Whenever Smart Guy looked at him, Roger ducked behind Stupid, as though Stupid was his own personal body guard and he would actually protect him.
“… Who wants to sing, “99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall”?” asked Roger, obviously bored out of his mind.
“No.” the weasels said in unison.
“Mary had a Little Lamb?”
“NO.”
“Old McDonald had a Farm?”
"NO.”“Pop Goes the Weasel?” he asked. All of the weasels either sighed or growled. “I really don’t have a clue about that song,” Roger continued. “The end, I mean. Does the weasel explode or-”
“Excuse me?” said Smart Guy, a twinkle in his eye, while the others stared at him with annoyance.
“Never mind.”
“Good idea. Come on, ya mugs, move it!” Smart Guy made gesture with his hand. Roger caught up to him and rubbed his hands together nervously.
“Um, Boss-”
“Roger, don’t call me Boss.”
“What’s your name then, mister?”
“Um..” Smart Guy paused. “Uh, Smart Guy.”
“No I’m not! What’d I say?” said Roger, offended.
“No you twit, that’s my name.”
“Oh. Right. Sorry.”
Smart Guy sighed.
“Um, don’t I have the right to know why you have me?”
“Not in my dictionary.”
“Why not?”
“Because I said so.”“… You aren’t going to hurt me, are you?”
Smart Guy sighed again. “Roger, we ain’t gonna hurt you, okay? We’re just gonna use you.”
“How?”
“None of yer bees’ wax.”
“But it
is my bees’ wax.” Roger pointed out.
“Now yer a smart ‘guy’.”
“But-”
“Roger go away.”
“Hmmph.” Roger went back to Stupid’s side.
After a few moments, Greasy looked up and said, “Land ho!” A small town of about five buildings stood in the middle of nowhere.
“But I thought that we were already on-” Smart Guy glared at Roger and Roger shut his mouth.
The weasels stood still for a minute, observing their surroundings. Smart Guy then made a swishing motion with his hand and walked into something like a 7-Eleven, only smaller. Smart Guy walked up to the counter.
“Hello, anyone home?”
A Hispanic man walked behind the counter. His nametag said “Jose` Vernandez- new staff”.
“We want a map.” said Smart Guy, resting an arm on the counter. Jose` looked at him, as though confused, then his face brightened with some kind of realization and he smiled.
He held up a soup can.
“Una sopa enlatada? Claro!”
“No, a
map, skullhead.”
Jose` paused and then bended over, reaching for something beneath the counter. He put a fork on the counter. “Un tenedor?”
“A
MAP.” said Smart Guy, becoming even more annoyed than he was with Roger.
Jose` grabbed a pop can. “Un refresco?”
“For the love of God, we want a stinkin’
MAP, ya stupid mug!”
Jose` frowned. “No hablo Inglés.”
Greasy rolled his eyes. “No freakin’
duh," he said under his breath. He turned to Jose`. “Queremos un mapa,” he told him.
“Si tú lo dices,” Jose` said, finally handing Smart Guy a map, smiling.
Smart Guy paid for the map and later stole a red van, which Roger protested against until Greasy told him to shut the **** up.
"Can IIIII driiiive? Hehee, hee!" Psycho said, grinning.
Wheezy coughed. "In my nightmares," he wheezed.
Smart Guy and Wheezy got in the front, with Wheezy driving. There were buttons by the dashboard.
"Wonder what this does," Wheezy said and he pushed the button.
....
"Sunshine, lollipops and Rainbows,
"Everything wonderful is what I feel when we're together,
"Brighter than a lucky penny."
"Turn it off, turn it off!" Smart Guy screeched while Wheezy continuously pushed buttons.
"When you're near the raincloud disappears, dear,
"And I feel so fine just to know that you are mine."
"It's not working!" Wheezy said.
"How about we should break it, then. Just stop it!" said Smart Guy, obviously both panicked and irritated.
"Stupid, your bat!" yelled Wheezy. Stupid gave him his bat and Wheezy slammed the area with the buttons hard three times.
.....
"Sunshine, lollipops and Rainbows,
Everything that's wonderful is sure to come your way."
....
....................
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGH!!!!!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Translation (without a few words Kurumi wanted me to add, since I don't know what they mean):
Jose': A soup can? Sure!
SA: No, a
map, skullhead.
Jose': A fork?
SA: A
MAP.
Jose': Soda?
SA: For the love of God, we want a stinkin'
MAP, ya stupid mug!
Jose`: I do not speak English.
Greasy: No freakin'
duh. We want a map.
Jose`: Sure, if you say so.
And, just for you, a link to "Sunshine, Lollipops" by Lesley Gore.
WARNING: HEAR AT YOUR OWN RISKS.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=V2sKH8yjVsM
EDIT: You know I was playing, right? Of COURSE there's going to be a twist with Maroon involved! Never trusted the guy.
