Post by 1940svintage on Aug 28, 2015 12:39:29 GMT -5
He pulled over to the side of the road and hopped out towards me. "Say, do I know you? I'm Roger," he exclaimed, grabbing my hand with both of his and shaking it up and down rapidly until his arm literally wiggled like spaghetti. "Roger Rabbit."
It was an incredible moment, shaking hands with him. He had a definite weight to him, and you could feel it. It was about the same weight as your average handshake. I felt his fur, and it felt like real rabbit fur, but didn't look like my brushing my hand against his arm had any effect on its surface. The cloth of his gloves had a satin-y feel to them, but didn't look textured. I almost expected him to have no weight at all, but here he was, all three-and-a-half feet, and 35 pounds of Roger Rabbit, standing before me.
When he moved, he wasn't two-dimensional, in the sense that I could see the contours that formed his body, and the wrinkles in his red overalls, and the highlights and the shadows. It was like looking at an action figure or a comic book character: they look flat on the screen or in the drawing, but in person, they have shape, and substance and contours. Does that make sense?
This was when I knew I wasn't in Kansas anymore, so to speak. This was my defining moment. To have a living, breathing, talking creature made of celluloid, paint and ink right there with me, and shaking hands with him was life-changing. I'm not kidding.
"Nice to finally meet you. Look, Mr. Rabbit, I-"
"Call me Roger, p-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-lease, "he said, sputtering out the "P" in "Please". He smiled warmly. "So what's a human doing all the way out here, anyways?"
"I… the Toon Patrol, and Doom and… they -."
"What does the Toon Patrol want with you?"
"Well, you see-"
"I hate those guys! They're after me, too!"
"Yeah, I-"
"You don't think I did all those bad things they say I did in the papers do ya?"
"No, Roger, I-"
"Phew!" he wiped a hand across his forehead." I'm glad that somebody's on my side! Because I didn't kill Acme! I can't hurt a fly! I won't and shan't hurt a fly! You gotta believe me!"
"I do, and -"
"I couldn't hurt anybody like that! I only want to make people laugh! I couldn't kill anyone! Period! "
He thought for a moment, and continued, "Exclamation point, question mark, semi colon, and lastly, comma!" he said, with a flourish of his yellow gloved hands.
"I can see that, Roger, and-"
"So how'd you escape from the Toon Patrol?"
"I made one of them drink whiskey-"
"It's that kind of comedy that's not in the entertainment business nowadays. I mean, look at my boss, R.K Maroon. He doesn't have a sense of humor! And then there's my buddy, Eddie Valiant! Ever hear of him? He's-"
"I know who he is. He and I are…..acquaintances. You can't exactly be friends with Eddie Valiant."
"Oh I know! He's a real, genuine, one-hundred-percent hardboiled private eye! You know, I never met one before I met Eddie! Man, if there was ever a guy who needed a laugh, it's Eddie!"
"I know, I know, I know. I heard about his brother." Would he just quit it already? We both had places to be!
"But what I was saying before about the entertainment business…did you hear about this new fuss everyone's making over television sets? It's like a movie theater right in your own home! This isn't good!"
That jolted me out of my flurry of panic. "Why not?"
"This'll be the end of cartoons being shown before films! I'll be out of work!"
"Oh, no you won't! Maybe they'll show your cartoon skits on TV. You never know. This'll be the wave of the future!"
"You really think so?" he looked up towards me, hopefully.
"Sure! What with your…..talents, " I said, not saying what I really wanted to say, which was "hyperactivity levels that rival a hummingbird after eating too much sugar", "I'm sure you'll do fine. There's always work for comedians."
"That's super, buddy! I knew talking to you was a god idea! Now, I-"
I cut him off, "Don't you have some running away to do?"
His eyes widened. "Oh you're right! I can't stay here! Not with the weasels after me! Do you need a ride? I can drive, no problem! I'm the best driver I know!" he said, a smile beaming on his face.
Yes, I thought. That's why the car looks like it lost a fight with a can opener.
I weighed my options. A car ride with Roger Rabbit that would most certainly bring on imminent death, or a car ride with Roger Rabbit, the title character of my favorite movie. I decided on the second choice, and hopped in Eddie's car.
"Where to? I know this city like the back of my paw!" he said, indicating the back of his left paw. He peered at it closely, "Say, is that a new splotch?"
I might end up regretting this. "J-just drop me off at the Terminal Bar on 6th and South Hope."
"Okey-dokey!" he said, driving away from Toontown at breakneck speeds. I gripped the door handles do hard that my knuckles turned white. Roger Rabbit was definitely a lead-foot driver if I ever saw one.
This car ride was even worse than the trip with the Toon Patrol. It must be something with Toons that makes the majority of them such awful drivers.
We turned a sharp corner and Roger nearly flew out of the car. "Where did you get your license?!" I screamed over the noise of the wind, "Out of a cracker jack box?"
"No, silly! That's where I got my social security card!" he hollered, narrowly avoiding crashing into a lamp post, "I got my license at the Toontown Department of Motor Vehicles!" he laughed. "See for yourself!"
He took out his wallet, not focusing at all on the road, and showed me his license, which had a goofy headshot of him, cross-eyed.
With a gloved hand, still not looking at the road, he tapped the bottom of the card, "It says here that I'm an organ donor, too! But the joke's on them, since I only have a piano! Whoo-hoo-hoo!"
I tightened my grip on my seatbelt. For about the fifteenth time hat day, I wondered what the heck I'd gotten myself into.
We arrived at the Terminal Bar, and it was very late. Almost 11:20. I was shaking like a Chihuahua, when Roger pulled to a stop.
He finished a joke that I could hardly hear over the chattering of my teeth, saying, "And then I said to Benny, 'Who says I'm a bad cook? You haven't tried my cereal yet!"
"Ha-ha," I muttered flatly, too shaken up to at least manage a fake chuckle.
He hopped out of the car and opened my door. With a sweeping flourish of his hands, he said, "Okay, buddy! Here we are! Thanks for using Roger's Car Company! I'll see you around! I gotta head back to Toontown!"
"Wait!" I called over to him as he hopped –literally- into the car. "Don't forget to check on Benny! I saw him on the side of the road by the tunnel to Toontown!"
"Oh, that isn't good! I gotta go help my buddy!" he called. "So long, pal!" He sped off towards Toontown, leaving me wanting to kiss the ground with relief for no longer being in that death-trap of a car. Needless to say that was kind of a deterrent for learning to drive.
I shakily walked up the steps, and not surprisingly, the bar was still open. They had a late-night happy hour. Dolores was wiping down the counter, and there were a few people sitting around the tables.
"You again?" asked Dolores, with a sour frown. "Shouldn't you be in bed, or sneaking out to go to the late-night movies with a girl or something?"
I said, sarcastically, "Your concern is appreciated, Ms. Verne. I was just kidnapped by the Toon Patrol yesterday, and got a lift here, courtesy the world's worst driver." I plastered a fake smile on face, "How was your day? Did you have fun stuffing olives and pouring martinis?"
She blinked a few times. She was still wearing her red suit that I remembered from an earlier scene in the film, but had removed the jacket and the purple straw hat. She was wearing a white tailored blouse with shoulders padded like a lunatic's cell.
"And I thought my day was rough," she said, wringing out her rag in the sink. She whirled around and asked, "Say, have you seen Eddie? He just stormed out of the movie theater with Roger with some crazy idea in his head about how to crack this case of his."
"Oh, so I see Eddie has told you about me. And I did see him. He was in Toontown, actually. He and Jessica are heading to the Acme Factory-"
"Oh, her. That painted hussy, "she scowled, the dislike evident in her voice, "But what would they be doing in the Acme Factory?"
"I don't have time for this! They were kidnapped by Doom and his Weasel thugs! Doom's behind all of this!...Are you shocked?"
"Not especially. That Nazi of a judge would sell his own mother to get what he wants," said Dolores, stepping around the back of the bar and sitting next to me. "Assuming he hasn't already."
"Assuming that gargoyle even has a mother," I said, cynically. "So what exactly has Eddie said about me?" I asked, not really sure I wanted to know what the answer was. I mean, this was Eddie we're talking about.
"He said that you talked when you were at Acme's funeral. You helped him a lot, you know. He said you told him to finish this case, and even though he started to give up, I could see that whatever you said to him made a difference. I haven't seen him look like that in years. Not since his brother died. Whatever you said, it was a wakeup call. I'm just happy he hasn't touched a drop in two whole days," she said, rolling her eyes slightly.
"I really am glad that I could help Eddie," I said, truthfully, but urgently. I need to am-scray. I gotta go help if I can!" I rose from my seat, and was swept up in a quick hug from Dolores. She whispered, "Thank you." Her eyes glistened a bit.
She sniffled, and asked, her voice suddenly urgent as she processed what I said "Would you like a ride back to the factory? It's late, and I don't want you walking alone. Besides, the Red Cars don't run this time of the night."
"Thanks Dolores. After the day I've had, I don't think I could handle walking."
Just as we were about to hop in Dolores' car, Aunt Margaret and Uncle George pulled up beside us.
They rushed out of the car, and after I explained what happened, Aunt Margret cried, "I'm so glad that you're safe!" and she gave me a surprisingly strong hug for a woman her size. "I wouldn't forgive myself if anything happened to you."
"I'm beginning to regret ever drawing those damned weasels," muttered Uncle George from his seat on the dining room chair. "But speaking of drawing things, if you'll come here, I have the spats I promised you."
From the pocket of his bathrobe, he withdrew a pair of gray Toon spats and handed them to me. "You can go home," he said, softly.
"We even have your suitcases ready." He added, reaching into the back of Margaret's car and handing them to me.
I looked back at Dolores and Aunt Margret, and then turned to look at Uncle George. Strangers who took me in and made me feel like family when I really needed it. I couldn't leave any of them without doing something to repay that debt.
"I won't be leaving yet. You've all been so kind, all of you, and I can't thank you enough. I have something that I need to do first to repay you guys."
To Dolores, I said, "Could you give me a lift to Toontown? It's urgent."
"Sure," she said, not fully understanding why. "I thought you wanted to go to the Acme factory, but ok. If you think this'll help."
Margret and George hugged me goodbye. I dropped my suitcases in surprise, matter of fact.
"I'll stop by again." I drew in a deep breath, and it shakily came out, "I really will miss you both so much." I sniffled a bit.
"It was nice having you visit," said Margaret, a bit sadly.
George said, a bit awkwardly at first, since he wasn't the type for sappy goodbyes, "So long. It's been a very interesting visit, I'll say." He smiled a bit. "I really do hope we see each other again, someday."
"I do too. You guys helped me more than you know, really."
I saw them waving from their as we rounded the corner, as I got into Dolores' car.
When we had reached the entrance to Toontown, it was fifteen minutes to midnight. I told Dolores to wait outside, and that I would be heading into Toontown alone, and leaving from there.
She sighed, but managed a small smile. "I guess this is goodbye, kid, huh?"
"Yeah.. it is. But I'll be back before you know it. I promise I will." I said, as I started to climb out of the car.
"Oh…Dolores?"
"Yeah?"
I smiled. "Thank you."
With that, I entered Toontown on foot, all alone.
I thought of what Eddie said to me earlier, and I realized that I needed to do something, anything, to help, no matter how insignificant it seemed.
I gathered up all the Toons I could find and told them to wait by the wall that separated Acme's factory from Toontown. I figured that, however small a thing it was, it was a way of restoring the hope of the Toons. They would soon know that their home wouldn't be destroyed. Of course, I didn't tell them that. I would let them find that out when Roger read Acme's will. My hope was restored when Uncle George helped me to get back home, so it was the least I could do to give back a little of what I got. It's corny, I know, but it's the truth.
My Big Moment happened when I told the operators of the Toontown Express, a train that goes around the perimeter of Toontown, to make a last minute alteration to the route.
"What are you talking about, kid? Why should we?" demanded a Toon bulldog in a railroad worker's jumpsuit.
"If you want Toontown to be saved, you'll pull that switch so it goes past the Acme Factory!"
"Forget it, kid! We ain't doin' that!"
I'd had enough of this, so I ordered, "Oh…Move over!" and, with all my might, pulled the leaver by the tracks that would alter the route of the train from going diagonal, to going straight. It would collide with the Dipmobile- Judge Doom's homemade tank that would spray 5,000 gallons of superheated Dip, enough to erase Toontown in a matter of minutes. It would be destroyed beyond repair after that.
At exactly 12:05 am, Sunday August 17th, 1947, the Dipmobile crashed through the brick wall separating the factory from Toontown, and I watched with a small smile on my face as the speeding Express collided with the Dipmobile, destroying it forever. Toons poured into the factory, all wondering who, or what Doom really was.
Once I heard the announcement that the Acme's will was found (Roger had it all along, but due to the fact that it was written in disappearing ink, he thought it was blank paper, and wrote his wife a love letter on it)
I felt very much relieved and ridiculously happy, and a little bit sad, because I would genuinely miss this place.
When it was all finally over, I put on the spats Uncle George gave me, and picked up my suitcases. I caught Eddie's gaze, and he looked at me for a moment. He mouthed "Thank you" to me.
I walked over to Roger, Jessica, Dolores and Eddie, after Roger waved me over there, and I said, "You know, this isn't goodbye forever, guys. I'll be back again sometime."
Roger started sobbing, hugged me tightly, and through his tears, said, "I'll miss you buddy! Please come back! P-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-bleaseeee!"
"You've only known me for about half an hour, Roger!" I said, laughing a bit.
"Yeah," he sniffled, "But I'll miss you! You were a good listener." He blew his nose on Eddie's tie, and Eddie scowled.
Eddie said, gruffly, "It's been nice knowing you … you helped me a little."
"Oh, you old faker!" chided Dolores, elbowing him across the ribs, "Thank the kid properly!"
"Oh, all right…," he said, sighing, "Thank you, kid. For telling me what I really needed to hear. I couldn't have finished this without what you told me. And maybe there is something to laughs being our only weapons in life."
Roger instantly stopped blubbering and said, "Hey wait a minute! That's what I said!"
"Yeah," I said, "Laughter can be a powerful thing. Sometimes in life it's the only weapon anybody has. It's an inspiring quote."
He beamed up at me. "See, Eddie? I inspired someone! I'm not just good for comedy!"
Looking off into the distance, he said, dramatically, "I can see it now: "Roger Rabbit- The Philosopher!"
"Yeah, yeah," said Eddie, smiling and shaking his head. "You may have helped to save Toontown, kid, but don't let your ego get inflated just yet. There's still the book signings and movie deals to look forward to."
This earned a chuckle from everyone.
I could tell he was joking. Besides, I hadn't mentioned a thing to anyone about the movie except for George and Margaret.
"But I will be back. This isn't goodbye forever." I said. "I'll miss you guys. Now, go and enjoy your carrot cake, guys. I have bigger fish to fry."
I watched them wave and call out their goodbyes as I walked back into Toontown. Then, Smartass' pink fedora blew by my feet. It must have blown off before he was kicked into the vat of Dip.
I picked it up, and I thought how if it wasn't for this nasty, vile little weasel throwing away his spats, I never would have discovered all of this. In a way, I owed him something, too. I thought how I may not have done quite what I'd always imagined I'd do if I ever got stuck in this movie/back in time (I'm still not fully sure which one happened), but I felt like things would be all right now. I may have done very little to change things, but the look on Eddie's face told me that my talk with him back in the cemetery helped, just as Dolores said. Or maybe it was just the thought of him becoming a metaphorical pickle if he kept on drinking that did the trick.
I clicked my heels, and closed my eyes, wanting to savor that last memory. I opened them up again, and was back in my room. I was home. And it was about a few minutes after I'd originally left.
That was a few months ago, in mid April. I didn't tell my parents yet, but I did decide to do something to record this extraordinary set of events.
I opened up a word document, and I began to type. Now, I type the final words. I'll be sure to visit them all again, sometime, now that I have both the spats that would get me home and take me there.
You know…I learned a few things from this trip. I learned that you have to stop worrying about the past. It will keep you from thinking about the future. Most important of all, I think is that laughter is the most important thing we have. Those are some of the real messages of "Who Framed Roger Rabbit". So now, I'm going to laugh often, and I'm going to try focus on the future. I've got a whole lot of the past to think about thanks to this trip, and God knows I don't need any more!
That's all, folks!
It was an incredible moment, shaking hands with him. He had a definite weight to him, and you could feel it. It was about the same weight as your average handshake. I felt his fur, and it felt like real rabbit fur, but didn't look like my brushing my hand against his arm had any effect on its surface. The cloth of his gloves had a satin-y feel to them, but didn't look textured. I almost expected him to have no weight at all, but here he was, all three-and-a-half feet, and 35 pounds of Roger Rabbit, standing before me.
When he moved, he wasn't two-dimensional, in the sense that I could see the contours that formed his body, and the wrinkles in his red overalls, and the highlights and the shadows. It was like looking at an action figure or a comic book character: they look flat on the screen or in the drawing, but in person, they have shape, and substance and contours. Does that make sense?
This was when I knew I wasn't in Kansas anymore, so to speak. This was my defining moment. To have a living, breathing, talking creature made of celluloid, paint and ink right there with me, and shaking hands with him was life-changing. I'm not kidding.
"Nice to finally meet you. Look, Mr. Rabbit, I-"
"Call me Roger, p-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-lease, "he said, sputtering out the "P" in "Please". He smiled warmly. "So what's a human doing all the way out here, anyways?"
"I… the Toon Patrol, and Doom and… they -."
"What does the Toon Patrol want with you?"
"Well, you see-"
"I hate those guys! They're after me, too!"
"Yeah, I-"
"You don't think I did all those bad things they say I did in the papers do ya?"
"No, Roger, I-"
"Phew!" he wiped a hand across his forehead." I'm glad that somebody's on my side! Because I didn't kill Acme! I can't hurt a fly! I won't and shan't hurt a fly! You gotta believe me!"
"I do, and -"
"I couldn't hurt anybody like that! I only want to make people laugh! I couldn't kill anyone! Period! "
He thought for a moment, and continued, "Exclamation point, question mark, semi colon, and lastly, comma!" he said, with a flourish of his yellow gloved hands.
"I can see that, Roger, and-"
"So how'd you escape from the Toon Patrol?"
"I made one of them drink whiskey-"
"It's that kind of comedy that's not in the entertainment business nowadays. I mean, look at my boss, R.K Maroon. He doesn't have a sense of humor! And then there's my buddy, Eddie Valiant! Ever hear of him? He's-"
"I know who he is. He and I are…..acquaintances. You can't exactly be friends with Eddie Valiant."
"Oh I know! He's a real, genuine, one-hundred-percent hardboiled private eye! You know, I never met one before I met Eddie! Man, if there was ever a guy who needed a laugh, it's Eddie!"
"I know, I know, I know. I heard about his brother." Would he just quit it already? We both had places to be!
"But what I was saying before about the entertainment business…did you hear about this new fuss everyone's making over television sets? It's like a movie theater right in your own home! This isn't good!"
That jolted me out of my flurry of panic. "Why not?"
"This'll be the end of cartoons being shown before films! I'll be out of work!"
"Oh, no you won't! Maybe they'll show your cartoon skits on TV. You never know. This'll be the wave of the future!"
"You really think so?" he looked up towards me, hopefully.
"Sure! What with your…..talents, " I said, not saying what I really wanted to say, which was "hyperactivity levels that rival a hummingbird after eating too much sugar", "I'm sure you'll do fine. There's always work for comedians."
"That's super, buddy! I knew talking to you was a god idea! Now, I-"
I cut him off, "Don't you have some running away to do?"
His eyes widened. "Oh you're right! I can't stay here! Not with the weasels after me! Do you need a ride? I can drive, no problem! I'm the best driver I know!" he said, a smile beaming on his face.
Yes, I thought. That's why the car looks like it lost a fight with a can opener.
I weighed my options. A car ride with Roger Rabbit that would most certainly bring on imminent death, or a car ride with Roger Rabbit, the title character of my favorite movie. I decided on the second choice, and hopped in Eddie's car.
"Where to? I know this city like the back of my paw!" he said, indicating the back of his left paw. He peered at it closely, "Say, is that a new splotch?"
I might end up regretting this. "J-just drop me off at the Terminal Bar on 6th and South Hope."
"Okey-dokey!" he said, driving away from Toontown at breakneck speeds. I gripped the door handles do hard that my knuckles turned white. Roger Rabbit was definitely a lead-foot driver if I ever saw one.
This car ride was even worse than the trip with the Toon Patrol. It must be something with Toons that makes the majority of them such awful drivers.
We turned a sharp corner and Roger nearly flew out of the car. "Where did you get your license?!" I screamed over the noise of the wind, "Out of a cracker jack box?"
"No, silly! That's where I got my social security card!" he hollered, narrowly avoiding crashing into a lamp post, "I got my license at the Toontown Department of Motor Vehicles!" he laughed. "See for yourself!"
He took out his wallet, not focusing at all on the road, and showed me his license, which had a goofy headshot of him, cross-eyed.
With a gloved hand, still not looking at the road, he tapped the bottom of the card, "It says here that I'm an organ donor, too! But the joke's on them, since I only have a piano! Whoo-hoo-hoo!"
I tightened my grip on my seatbelt. For about the fifteenth time hat day, I wondered what the heck I'd gotten myself into.
We arrived at the Terminal Bar, and it was very late. Almost 11:20. I was shaking like a Chihuahua, when Roger pulled to a stop.
He finished a joke that I could hardly hear over the chattering of my teeth, saying, "And then I said to Benny, 'Who says I'm a bad cook? You haven't tried my cereal yet!"
"Ha-ha," I muttered flatly, too shaken up to at least manage a fake chuckle.
He hopped out of the car and opened my door. With a sweeping flourish of his hands, he said, "Okay, buddy! Here we are! Thanks for using Roger's Car Company! I'll see you around! I gotta head back to Toontown!"
"Wait!" I called over to him as he hopped –literally- into the car. "Don't forget to check on Benny! I saw him on the side of the road by the tunnel to Toontown!"
"Oh, that isn't good! I gotta go help my buddy!" he called. "So long, pal!" He sped off towards Toontown, leaving me wanting to kiss the ground with relief for no longer being in that death-trap of a car. Needless to say that was kind of a deterrent for learning to drive.
I shakily walked up the steps, and not surprisingly, the bar was still open. They had a late-night happy hour. Dolores was wiping down the counter, and there were a few people sitting around the tables.
"You again?" asked Dolores, with a sour frown. "Shouldn't you be in bed, or sneaking out to go to the late-night movies with a girl or something?"
I said, sarcastically, "Your concern is appreciated, Ms. Verne. I was just kidnapped by the Toon Patrol yesterday, and got a lift here, courtesy the world's worst driver." I plastered a fake smile on face, "How was your day? Did you have fun stuffing olives and pouring martinis?"
She blinked a few times. She was still wearing her red suit that I remembered from an earlier scene in the film, but had removed the jacket and the purple straw hat. She was wearing a white tailored blouse with shoulders padded like a lunatic's cell.
"And I thought my day was rough," she said, wringing out her rag in the sink. She whirled around and asked, "Say, have you seen Eddie? He just stormed out of the movie theater with Roger with some crazy idea in his head about how to crack this case of his."
"Oh, so I see Eddie has told you about me. And I did see him. He was in Toontown, actually. He and Jessica are heading to the Acme Factory-"
"Oh, her. That painted hussy, "she scowled, the dislike evident in her voice, "But what would they be doing in the Acme Factory?"
"I don't have time for this! They were kidnapped by Doom and his Weasel thugs! Doom's behind all of this!...Are you shocked?"
"Not especially. That Nazi of a judge would sell his own mother to get what he wants," said Dolores, stepping around the back of the bar and sitting next to me. "Assuming he hasn't already."
"Assuming that gargoyle even has a mother," I said, cynically. "So what exactly has Eddie said about me?" I asked, not really sure I wanted to know what the answer was. I mean, this was Eddie we're talking about.
"He said that you talked when you were at Acme's funeral. You helped him a lot, you know. He said you told him to finish this case, and even though he started to give up, I could see that whatever you said to him made a difference. I haven't seen him look like that in years. Not since his brother died. Whatever you said, it was a wakeup call. I'm just happy he hasn't touched a drop in two whole days," she said, rolling her eyes slightly.
"I really am glad that I could help Eddie," I said, truthfully, but urgently. I need to am-scray. I gotta go help if I can!" I rose from my seat, and was swept up in a quick hug from Dolores. She whispered, "Thank you." Her eyes glistened a bit.
She sniffled, and asked, her voice suddenly urgent as she processed what I said "Would you like a ride back to the factory? It's late, and I don't want you walking alone. Besides, the Red Cars don't run this time of the night."
"Thanks Dolores. After the day I've had, I don't think I could handle walking."
Just as we were about to hop in Dolores' car, Aunt Margaret and Uncle George pulled up beside us.
They rushed out of the car, and after I explained what happened, Aunt Margret cried, "I'm so glad that you're safe!" and she gave me a surprisingly strong hug for a woman her size. "I wouldn't forgive myself if anything happened to you."
"I'm beginning to regret ever drawing those damned weasels," muttered Uncle George from his seat on the dining room chair. "But speaking of drawing things, if you'll come here, I have the spats I promised you."
From the pocket of his bathrobe, he withdrew a pair of gray Toon spats and handed them to me. "You can go home," he said, softly.
"We even have your suitcases ready." He added, reaching into the back of Margaret's car and handing them to me.
I looked back at Dolores and Aunt Margret, and then turned to look at Uncle George. Strangers who took me in and made me feel like family when I really needed it. I couldn't leave any of them without doing something to repay that debt.
"I won't be leaving yet. You've all been so kind, all of you, and I can't thank you enough. I have something that I need to do first to repay you guys."
To Dolores, I said, "Could you give me a lift to Toontown? It's urgent."
"Sure," she said, not fully understanding why. "I thought you wanted to go to the Acme factory, but ok. If you think this'll help."
Margret and George hugged me goodbye. I dropped my suitcases in surprise, matter of fact.
"I'll stop by again." I drew in a deep breath, and it shakily came out, "I really will miss you both so much." I sniffled a bit.
"It was nice having you visit," said Margaret, a bit sadly.
George said, a bit awkwardly at first, since he wasn't the type for sappy goodbyes, "So long. It's been a very interesting visit, I'll say." He smiled a bit. "I really do hope we see each other again, someday."
"I do too. You guys helped me more than you know, really."
I saw them waving from their as we rounded the corner, as I got into Dolores' car.
When we had reached the entrance to Toontown, it was fifteen minutes to midnight. I told Dolores to wait outside, and that I would be heading into Toontown alone, and leaving from there.
She sighed, but managed a small smile. "I guess this is goodbye, kid, huh?"
"Yeah.. it is. But I'll be back before you know it. I promise I will." I said, as I started to climb out of the car.
"Oh…Dolores?"
"Yeah?"
I smiled. "Thank you."
With that, I entered Toontown on foot, all alone.
I thought of what Eddie said to me earlier, and I realized that I needed to do something, anything, to help, no matter how insignificant it seemed.
I gathered up all the Toons I could find and told them to wait by the wall that separated Acme's factory from Toontown. I figured that, however small a thing it was, it was a way of restoring the hope of the Toons. They would soon know that their home wouldn't be destroyed. Of course, I didn't tell them that. I would let them find that out when Roger read Acme's will. My hope was restored when Uncle George helped me to get back home, so it was the least I could do to give back a little of what I got. It's corny, I know, but it's the truth.
My Big Moment happened when I told the operators of the Toontown Express, a train that goes around the perimeter of Toontown, to make a last minute alteration to the route.
"What are you talking about, kid? Why should we?" demanded a Toon bulldog in a railroad worker's jumpsuit.
"If you want Toontown to be saved, you'll pull that switch so it goes past the Acme Factory!"
"Forget it, kid! We ain't doin' that!"
I'd had enough of this, so I ordered, "Oh…Move over!" and, with all my might, pulled the leaver by the tracks that would alter the route of the train from going diagonal, to going straight. It would collide with the Dipmobile- Judge Doom's homemade tank that would spray 5,000 gallons of superheated Dip, enough to erase Toontown in a matter of minutes. It would be destroyed beyond repair after that.
At exactly 12:05 am, Sunday August 17th, 1947, the Dipmobile crashed through the brick wall separating the factory from Toontown, and I watched with a small smile on my face as the speeding Express collided with the Dipmobile, destroying it forever. Toons poured into the factory, all wondering who, or what Doom really was.
Once I heard the announcement that the Acme's will was found (Roger had it all along, but due to the fact that it was written in disappearing ink, he thought it was blank paper, and wrote his wife a love letter on it)
I felt very much relieved and ridiculously happy, and a little bit sad, because I would genuinely miss this place.
When it was all finally over, I put on the spats Uncle George gave me, and picked up my suitcases. I caught Eddie's gaze, and he looked at me for a moment. He mouthed "Thank you" to me.
I walked over to Roger, Jessica, Dolores and Eddie, after Roger waved me over there, and I said, "You know, this isn't goodbye forever, guys. I'll be back again sometime."
Roger started sobbing, hugged me tightly, and through his tears, said, "I'll miss you buddy! Please come back! P-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-bleaseeee!"
"You've only known me for about half an hour, Roger!" I said, laughing a bit.
"Yeah," he sniffled, "But I'll miss you! You were a good listener." He blew his nose on Eddie's tie, and Eddie scowled.
Eddie said, gruffly, "It's been nice knowing you … you helped me a little."
"Oh, you old faker!" chided Dolores, elbowing him across the ribs, "Thank the kid properly!"
"Oh, all right…," he said, sighing, "Thank you, kid. For telling me what I really needed to hear. I couldn't have finished this without what you told me. And maybe there is something to laughs being our only weapons in life."
Roger instantly stopped blubbering and said, "Hey wait a minute! That's what I said!"
"Yeah," I said, "Laughter can be a powerful thing. Sometimes in life it's the only weapon anybody has. It's an inspiring quote."
He beamed up at me. "See, Eddie? I inspired someone! I'm not just good for comedy!"
Looking off into the distance, he said, dramatically, "I can see it now: "Roger Rabbit- The Philosopher!"
"Yeah, yeah," said Eddie, smiling and shaking his head. "You may have helped to save Toontown, kid, but don't let your ego get inflated just yet. There's still the book signings and movie deals to look forward to."
This earned a chuckle from everyone.
I could tell he was joking. Besides, I hadn't mentioned a thing to anyone about the movie except for George and Margaret.
"But I will be back. This isn't goodbye forever." I said. "I'll miss you guys. Now, go and enjoy your carrot cake, guys. I have bigger fish to fry."
I watched them wave and call out their goodbyes as I walked back into Toontown. Then, Smartass' pink fedora blew by my feet. It must have blown off before he was kicked into the vat of Dip.
I picked it up, and I thought how if it wasn't for this nasty, vile little weasel throwing away his spats, I never would have discovered all of this. In a way, I owed him something, too. I thought how I may not have done quite what I'd always imagined I'd do if I ever got stuck in this movie/back in time (I'm still not fully sure which one happened), but I felt like things would be all right now. I may have done very little to change things, but the look on Eddie's face told me that my talk with him back in the cemetery helped, just as Dolores said. Or maybe it was just the thought of him becoming a metaphorical pickle if he kept on drinking that did the trick.
I clicked my heels, and closed my eyes, wanting to savor that last memory. I opened them up again, and was back in my room. I was home. And it was about a few minutes after I'd originally left.
That was a few months ago, in mid April. I didn't tell my parents yet, but I did decide to do something to record this extraordinary set of events.
I opened up a word document, and I began to type. Now, I type the final words. I'll be sure to visit them all again, sometime, now that I have both the spats that would get me home and take me there.
You know…I learned a few things from this trip. I learned that you have to stop worrying about the past. It will keep you from thinking about the future. Most important of all, I think is that laughter is the most important thing we have. Those are some of the real messages of "Who Framed Roger Rabbit". So now, I'm going to laugh often, and I'm going to try focus on the future. I've got a whole lot of the past to think about thanks to this trip, and God knows I don't need any more!
That's all, folks!