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Post by smartguy02011986 on Jan 3, 2010 17:08:49 GMT -5
its a start I am going to add more to it
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Post by KrazyRandomness on Jan 4, 2010 2:09:39 GMT -5
Good so far.
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Post by Cooper on Jan 4, 2010 16:16:31 GMT -5
Not bad. Pretty good, but it could use a little more meat, maybe some more backstory, and I recommend not putting down their full names all the time, it'll save you the typing.
Maybe a little more story, explaining the settings and the expressions, and also maybe trying not to fuse all the actions together. It's not bad, but I'm confused on who's who and what's going on.
Plus, Doom seems a bit out of character. His original toon from, if I remember correctly had 'Von Doom' in it, plus when he was a toon, he was associated on being the bad guy all the time, so I recommend making him a bit crueler and meaner.
Plus, the grammar is bad and the use of words is a bit off, I recommend typing all of this in word first and than copy and past. Or you can ask some friends on here to help you with the grammar.
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Post by smartguy02011986 on Jan 7, 2010 3:04:58 GMT -5
Ok Thanks Cooper its hard to do a story for me I have not done one in so long. I think I will not finsh this one I my just put it in the trash. Its not coming out the way I need it to and I think it sucks as well!
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Post by Cooper on Jan 7, 2010 22:53:25 GMT -5
Practice makes perfect. But it's your decision
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