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Post by The Unknown on Dec 4, 2010 12:03:59 GMT -5
Who is Zudi?
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Post by Fisi on Dec 4, 2010 12:05:56 GMT -5
Bleh, I'm sorry, on my Itouch, I meant Sam.
I'll modify it.
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Post by Weasel Freak on Dec 4, 2010 17:12:25 GMT -5
Very nice. I love how you portray the weasels. Other fics do tend to portray them a bit too nice (Mine included sometimes). I also like Smart Ass's accent.
... Oh man, Sam and her mouth. >XD I wonder how much trouble it'll get her into.
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Post by disneyplease on Dec 4, 2010 18:02:28 GMT -5
you know, I once had an idea for a fic that involved an orphan girl and the weasels almost like this fic. Infact it was a concept idea for my OC Scamper.
But that was a long time ago, when I was 12, many years before I even knew this site existed, and I dropped it for I did'nt feel satisfied with it
and incase you're wondering how mine went, in that idea, the weasels adopted the orphan girl from an orphanage, only to turn her into a servant. Fact, the Weasels treated her like she was a slave, and to make things more hard, they emotionally, verbally, but mostly Physicaly abused her.
at the time, I was inspired by James and the giant Peach, and Disney's Petes Dragon.
but yeah, through time, I did'nt think it would work out, and knowing that this OC of mine was treated poorly, my Mom could'nt stand it, so yeah I dropped it
I gave Scamper a story that, for those who've read it, shows that she has been through any form of abuse what so ever
though the idea for a weasel fic that involved a girl who was abused never left
many years later, I thought of a different story with that idea, only Judge Doom would be involved as well
this new idea went like this...
An 10 yearold girl, who was the daughter and only child of a wealthy young widow, living a happy life. But then the girls mother met Judge Doom, who both went on many dates then married. Soon Doom AND his hench men the Toon Patrol weasels moved into the girls mothers home. Things were'nt too bad, but one year later, the girls mother was found in the kitchen dead, poisoned. The police assumed that the mother killed herself by accident for the mother has been dead since that morning, and there was rat poison in the storage cabinet, so when making tea, mother must've put in the rat poison in her tea with out realizing it, and the widow had not written any known will. So it was the very time of the girls mother's death that Doom and the weasels true nature was revealed to her, grim, cold, cruel, and wicked. Since the girl had no other living relatives, Doom and the weasels won custody of her. While with them, the girl was emotionally, verbally, and physicaly abused. Then soon, Doom and the weasels claimed everything that belonged to the widow and the girl, the fortune, the house and everything in it. Then Finally, the girl was forced to become Doom and the weasels house maid.
though the idea of Doom and the weasels treating a child poorly is not completely dropped, it wo'nt be coming anytime soon
DisneyPlease!
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Post by The Unknown on Dec 14, 2010 5:26:25 GMT -5
Here's part B of chapter 2! Sorry it took so long...had a long and hectic work week. All I could muster with fatigue I'm afraid. I'm not sure when I'll have chapter 3 up, but hopefully it'll be sooner than this one. No promises! Here we go!
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Chapter 2, part B
Sam noticed her new home was in no better shape than the rest of the building. Dust caked nearly every furnishing. The ceiling was cracked. The floors creaked. Dents and holes made up most of the wall. A table had been knocked over and scattered a deck of cards. A sour smell emmitted from a pile of rags. A lump resting on a plate that had once been known as a sandwich was now a multicolored city of mold. There was no mistaking it - this was where the Toon Patrol lived.
No sooner had they walked in did the Toon Patrol makes themselves comfortable in their home. Smart Ass sat on a chair and proped his feet on the fallen table while Greasy picked up the cards and shuffled them. Psycho hung himself upside down on Wheezy's back, much to his annoyance. He scowled and lit another cigarette. Stupid opened a box full of worn and washed out crayons and began to draw a picture on the wall. As for Sam? She gawked in disbelief at the state of her home and residents. They seemed lazy, irresponsible, unclean, and...and insane. Insane even for a group of toons! She crossed her arms and glared at them.
Sam: How can you guys live with yourselves like...like this! You really expect me to clean all your mess by myself? The least you can do is pick up the table!
Smart Ass: That ain't my job. It's what we hired yous for, right? Or do you need a retake?
Sam: You mean reminder?
Smart Ass: Shut yer trap and pick up my table!!
Sam rolled her eyes and moaned. Despite how rude and unfair her new roommates were being to their guest, she knew that she had to live up to her deal. Plus, the table obviously wasn't going to pick itself up. She trodded over and placed it back to its proper state. She turned her gaze towards Smart Ass and gave him a look. She had turned to walk back towards her bags when Smart Ass grabbed her by the hair and pulled her towards him. He placed his other hand in the pocket of his suit and slighty withdrew his knife enough for Sam to gain a glimpse.
Smart Ass: The next time I tells you to do something, you do it without a pinch of spite. I'll fix that attitude of yers if that's what it's going to take. Also, don't you dare order me what to do, you stupid lil' brat. Have you no respect for us who bothered to let yous into our place? I could have cut yer pudgy lil' nose off back dere on da street if I had the opportunity to. Don't make it worse on yerself while you are under our watch. Got it?
Sam's cool gaze was not fazed by his warning. She simply nodded and yanked his paws out of her hair. She walked back to bags and that's when she noticed that the others had watched her silently during the conversation with their boss. When all seemed a bit at ease, the still upside-down Psycho began to giggle and jab his covered paw towards Sam. Without warning Wheezy bucked him off and walked out the door, bumping into Sam as he did so. His tiny smirk had gone unnoticed. Sam brushed her arm and picked up her guitar case.
Sam: Can I at least be shown to my sleeping quarters along with some assistance with my bags?
Smart Ass leaned back in his chair and tipped his hat towards his face. Sam looked at Stupid. Surprised, perhaps embarrased, he quickly looked away and frantically scribbled on the wall with his crayons. Psycho was nowhere to be seen. Sam heard a low chuckle behind her and quickly turned to discover Greasy holding her other bags.
Greasy: But of course, Princess. Which room boss?
Smart Ass: *mumbling* Try de spare room with the bed, moron.
Greasy: Oh. Oh! Right boss. I knew that! *chuckle* Follow me this way. Sam became quite uneasy with how this weasel had begun treating her in a gentlemen way. Was he scheming something? Was there a prank in the works? A trap she was falling into? Whatever it was, Sam had grown so tired that she hardly cared what more she could endure for the rest of the evening. She simply followed him towards a closed room that with the promise of a bed seemed quite welcoming. Greasy opened the door and held his arms out as a gesture for Sam to go through first. What she came to discover was somewhere inbetween disgust and relief. Springs had pushed through some parts of the bed. What bothered Sam the most was the layer of dust that could clearly be made out. Nevertheless, this room seemed much better than the rest of the place. She had made her way in when suddenly her bags had flown across the room and slammed into the wall. Greasy slapped his knee and howled with laugher.
Greasy: There you go! Hope it's cozy as cozy can get!
Sam: What the hell!? That's my stuff you just threw at the wall!
Greasy: Ehhhh no harm done. They're just stupid stuff in stupid bags anyway. Well, welcome to your new home blah blah blah enjoy your stay blah blah blah. Oh! *whisper* A word of advice. Boss angers easily when it comes to rank and respect issues. Learn quickly and he won't kill you so soon.
Sam: Umm...thanks. I guess.
Greasy: *bows* De nada, Princess.
He walked outside the door, gave one last bow, and slammed the door. The wall had cracked slightly. Sam sighed and held one hand to her forehead. She couldn't quite remember how she had gotten herself into this mess, but she knew already that it was probably the dumbest mistake she had made so far in her life. How much more could she make if she managed to live through this? Not wanting to think too much on it, Sam removed the blanked from her bed and shook the dust off; she soon followed up with the pillows. She plopped face-first on her newly dusted bed and slowly started to doze off. Perhaps things would get better tomorrow. She could only hope for now. Sleep soon over took Sam and the day already seemed to fade away. Suddenly, the door flew open and Greasy came in with the moldy sandwich. His banshee-like yells quickly awoke Sam from her slumber, jolting her out of bed.
Greasy: Dinner time, Princess!
He threw the sandwich at Sam. Startled and disgusted, she shrieked as the sandwich hit her square on the face. The quiet evening soon roared with the malicious laughs of the Weasels and the screams of their newly appointed young maid.
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P.S. The moldy sandwich was inspired by a true story. *shutters*
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Post by disneyplease on Dec 14, 2010 11:32:24 GMT -5
WOWIE COWIE!!!!
nice chapter Unknown
I can't wait to see what happens next!!! ;D
DisneyPlease!
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Post by The Forgoten One on Dec 14, 2010 13:26:34 GMT -5
cool
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Post by Lola on Dec 14, 2010 13:51:14 GMT -5
i love how you portray smartass with his accent keep it up
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Post by Fisi on Dec 14, 2010 21:40:12 GMT -5
My, my, my, such rudeness in the patrol.
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Post by The Unknown on Dec 14, 2010 21:43:00 GMT -5
Hey, it's the Toon Patrol. What else did you expect? A couple of Care Bears? lmao
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Post by Fisi on Dec 14, 2010 21:44:26 GMT -5
LOL! I can see Stupid as that though.
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Post by disneyplease on Dec 14, 2010 21:58:03 GMT -5
yeah,
infact, in that old fic idea of mine that I talked about, Stupid was the only weasel who was'nt mean or abusive
DisneyPlease!
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Post by The Unknown on Dec 14, 2010 22:02:53 GMT -5
I can't ever imagine Stupid being cruel. He'd accidentally step on a beetle and cry his heart out.
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Post by disneyplease on Dec 14, 2010 22:07:20 GMT -5
yeah, Stupid is like a gentle giant
DisneyPlease!
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Post by Weasel Freak on Dec 14, 2010 23:50:51 GMT -5
Smart Ass needs anger management classes, asap. And a bit of humiliation would do good too. >w> But I still like how you portray him. His accent, and his speech impediment, and his way of speaking- you're doing great. Same thing with Greasy.
Lol, love Wheezy there, with his tiny unnoticed smirk. X3
Ohohohn~ What's Greasy up to? ,:3 I hope he's not trying to pick Sam up, that'd make him a pedophile.
Lmao, laughed out loud at the moldy sandwich gag at the end. XD
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