Weasel Drabbles

[crystalflora432]

Well... since writing chapter 2 of my fanfic is taking longer than I though it would, but my mind is riddled with memes and vines and incorrect quotes that I can imagine for the weasels, I'm making a new fanfic thread where I can just pop out weasel stuff in like, an hour every day. 

That and it'll give me writing practice, so win win! Most of these arent going to be serious, and unless specified otherwise arent related to one another.

These are basically gonna be like the aforementioned above, but with more details (making incorrect quotes more like incorrect scenes). These are mostly gonna be comedy, but I'm sure I'll think of drabbles that fall into other categories!

Hope you guys enjoy!

[crystalflora432]

Type: incorrect quote
Source: unknown
Description: Smarty and Psych fight and Psycho refuses to talk to Smarty, so Greasy has an idea.
____________


Even before his patrol got this much power, being the official police force for Toontown, and had four other employees, Smarty knew there was going to be plenty of conflict.

Oh, there were enough fights going on between each member that even a couple of rabid dogs couldn't compare to. Smarty should know, they had to arrest two wolf's in the Woodland area of Toontown for disturbing the peace.

They each had different levels of patience and temperaments. Wheezy was the highest, followed by his boss and Greasy. The two weasels who lose their tempers the least were Psycho and Stupid. In that order.

However, when Psycho loses his temper, it is easily the most violent of all their tempers combined. The last time someone angered the psychotic weasel, was met with a razor to the throat. However, this only applies if your a stranger to the straight jacket wearing mammal.

If your acquainted with Psycho, like how the rest of the Toon Patrol is with him, than the most he would do is give you the cold shoulder and refuse to talk to or engage with you. Which is exactly how he has been treating the Toon Patrol leader the past three days.

It wasn't even a big fight, it was a disagreement on wether or not pineapples should be considered a pizza topping, Smarty strongly disagreeing with the idea, while Psycho couldnt agree more with the idea. It escalated when Psycho suggested bananas for a pizza topping and thoroughly disgusting Smarty. 

That was three days ago, two days ago, Greasy suggested an idea to Smarty that quite frankly, was probably the stupidest thing the weasel had heard of yet.

"Are 'ya kidding me?"

"Of course not boss!"

They were in the van at the time, Smarty at the wheel, Greasy to his right and Wheezy next to the window with Stupid and Psycho in the back.

"Let me get this straight. You want me to brighten the lid of 'da jam jar, so he got no choice but to task me to open it." 

"Si!" While Greasy looked proud of his plan, Smarty looked absolutely done with his second in command. Wheezy looked like he wasn't even paying attention.

"And what makes 'ya 'tink this'll work?"

"I've tried it before!"

"You mean that time you were so desperate, you stole a women's purse just so that she had to touch you?" Ah, so Wheezy was paying attention.

"Exactly!"

"Didn't she punch you?"

"C'mon, as if our amigo would do that!"

As much as Smarty hated to admit it, Greasy did have a point, and this could possibly work. With how mentally challenged the blue eyed weasel was and how much he loved his grilled peanutbutter jelly and apple sandwiches, he may fall for it.

So this morning he woke up early to tighten the jar lid and waited. It would be in the afternoon when Psycho would make his abomination.

________


Greasy was at his desk dealing with paperwork when the leader stalked towards his desk, a frown settled on his face, he got closer until he was right next to Greasy and placed his elbow on the wooden surface.

The green clad mammal quirked an eyebrow, having a feeling this was about the latest predicament, "So, how did it go?"

The pink wearing weasel took a deep breath before spilling the beans, "So Grease, you remember what you told me to do?"

Placing the papers down, he turned towards his boss, a smile finding it's way on his face, "Why yes! Yes I do. Did it work?"

Smarty on the other hand, didn't look the least bit amused, "He broke 'da damn tar Greasy."

...

"Que?"

Meanwhile, in the kitchen upstairs, Psycho was currently picking out shards of glass from the now pile of raspberry jam on the counter, a hammer with jelly and shards of glass stuck to the metal head next to him, and Stupid watching in confused silence.

________________


Quote used

Person A: yesterday, Person B told me that if Person C is mad at me, I should just close all the jam jars tight, so when Person C needs to open it, they'll have to talk to me.

Person D: Did they talk to you?

Person A: They broke the damn Jar Person D.

[crystalflora432]

Let me know what you guys think!

[weaseldude]

Not bad it cracked me up when Smart Guy said Psycho broke the jar 😂

[crystalflora432]

Glad I could make you crack! 

I just hope your funny bone isn't broken!

Welp, if you liked this that much, than you should smash that like button! 

(I'm already walking myself out the door)

[crystalflora432]

Type: Vine
Source: no clue
Description: he is the sand gaurdian, gaurdian of the sand.
_______

It was such a lovely day!

No seriously, no sarcasm! It really was a nice day out! So nice that Smarty figured it would be good to go to Toontown's local beach and get some sunshine.

What? A criminal using the law to his advantage can't have a good time in the sun? Well no one could blame you for thinking that.

At first he was just going to go by himself, but than Wheezy wanted to come along- or rather he had the same plan's and they both decided to just go together- and that was fine! Wheezy was a responsible adult so Smarty didn't have to spend energy keeping an eye on him. Than Greasy heard about their plans and wanted to go too, a little inconvenient, but still doable, Greasy would more than likely try to 'chat' with the hotties there. Than Stupid asked if he could go too... at first Smarty wasn't too keen on that but then he remembered that Greasy was ok with Stupid, and if the green clad weasel were there, than Smarty wouldn't need to worry about them... 

And than of course... Psycho found out and practically begged to go outside with them all- especially since Stupid was going- this was an issue.

Smarty really wanted to say no, even though leaving Psycho alone would result in the office getting trashed again- oh god... he could still remember the raccoon incident- but than Stupid heard about the possibility of his best friend coming along and started begging himself for the razor wielding weasel to come along. It wasn't until Stupid offered to watch over Psycho that Smarty finally conceded.

From an outside perspective, it may seem like a disaster waiting to happen- and in a way it was- but when it came to watching over Psycho, Stupid seemed to be the best candidate. For some reason Stupid could click with Psycho in a way no one else could, and Psycho always found a way to keep he and his pal occupied, so at the very least Smarty wouldnt have to worry too much. They were all going to be in a wide open area so it's not like they could toss the desk out the window or something.

Which brings us here right now, Greasy was off doing lord knows what, Smarty and Wheezy were discussing possible dealings for the future while walking down the shore line and the other two were building sand castle's last time they were seen.

"We could try Mr. Swine next week. I hear that guy is loaded."

"'Tat does sound good, and he ain't very tight either." 

Yup, just a relaxing walk down the beach... nothing out of the ordinary...

Well except for that pile of damp sand that the two weasels had just walked up too.

Stupid kept patting on the mound trying to get it in a dome shape, but where was Psycho?

"... hey uh, Stupid?"

"Yeah?" He didnt even look up at his boss, this was probably the most concentrated Smarty had seen Stupid be in in awhile.

"You said you was gonna keep an eye on psycho, yeah?"

"Uh-huh!"

Smarty was doing his best not to explode, "Well... Where is he?"

"Over here!" A high pitched voice called out that was... right in front if them? Walking up to the front of the now finished dome of sand, Wheezy and Smarty could see that Stupid had actually built the sand around his companion, only leaving his face to poke out through the front.

Baffled to the point of silence, Smarty let Wheezy take the wheel here, "Psycho... what are you doing?" 

Dead serious- but still keeping a smile on his face- the icey blue eyed weasel looked at them both and said, "I am the sand gaurdian!"

...

... 

"... What?"

Proudly, Psycho replied louder, "The guardian of the sand!"

Stupid was apparently aware of Psycho's thought process, since he immediately slapped his hand in top of the sand pile and looked at the other two with pride and said, "Poe-sie-deon quivers before him!" 

At that, Psycho than turned his head- as much as he could- towards the 'toon sea and with as much vigor as he could muster, cried out, "SCREW OFF!!!"

"..."

"..."

After finally recovering from his shock, Smarty could only pinch the bridge of his nose. Even though they weren't causing havoc, this was just...

Wheezy could see that his bosses brain was slowly shutting itself off, so a one last minute attempt to try to save it was in order, "Hey at least they're not throwing sandballs at us."

At that, the pink wearing weasel lifted his head back up, it looked like he was contemplating something before he shrugged his shoulders and gave a, "Tear enough."

At that, the two just walked off in the other direction, leaving the two childish weasels to debate what to make next.

_________

The vine: youtu.be/FHrh_XFiXLI

[weaseldude]

I love that video! Psycho and Stupid doing that bit just cracks me up! 😂

[crystalflora432]

Yeah, I saw this vine and immediately knew that Psycho and Stupid would be the type of friends to do this!

[crystalflora432]

I was rewatching Lady and the Tramp and it just now occured to me the fun fact that I wanted to post for my first drabble. Sorry!

Fun fact: pizza actually was a thing in the 40's! That's why Psycho and Smarty were arguing pizza toppings. Of course it wasn't as popular as it is now back then, but it did exist!

[weaselpatrolseries]

So funny when Smarty and Psycho were fighting. Can you make more?

[crystalflora432]

Mar 11, 2021 14:46:42 GMT -5 weaselpatrolseries said:

So funny when Smarty and Psycho were fighting. Can you make more?

I'm sorry, but I haven't been able to find the motivation to continue writing for WFRR. Maybe later in the future, but not now. I'm sorry.

[weaselpatrolseries]

How about Toon Patrol arm wrestling?

[crystalflora432]

Mar 14, 2021 14:16:32 GMT -5 weaselpatrolseries said:

How about Toon Patrol arm wrestling?

I'm sorry! I've been away from this sight for so long I didbt notice someone replied!

That would definitely be a fun idea! I'll try and get that written out (and of course I'll be sure to give you credit). Thank you!

[weaselpatrolseries]

You welcome.

[weaselpatrolseries]

May 27, 2021 0:54:34 GMT -5 crystalflora432 said:

Mar 14, 2021 14:16:32 GMT -5 weaselpatrolseries said:

How about Toon Patrol arm wrestling?

I'm sorry! I've been away from this sight for so long I didbt notice someone replied!

That would definitely be a fun idea! I'll try and get that written out (and of course I'll be sure to give you credit). Thank you!

You welcome.