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Post by weaseldude on Apr 12, 2020 3:14:46 GMT -5
Can't wait to read it! 😁
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Post by weaseldude on Apr 16, 2020 15:49:58 GMT -5
An excellent start! there are some minor grammar issues but nothing to get in A twist about the characters all seem great the skeleton cab driver at the end got A chuckle out of me and so far everything is well paced and entertaining I like it I can't complain
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Post by weaseldude on Apr 16, 2020 18:15:36 GMT -5
Im sure it's fine as long as the cursing is mild obvious no F bombs I personally don't get offended by swear words I curse like A sailor when I'm not trying to be "professional" which is most of the time obviously there are people out there who do get offended by that but as long as the cursing is mild such as "dick, ass, piss, ect" it's probably okay
Also the small grammar issues were these
2nd paragraph said "it's no one wonder" it should be " it's no wonder"
You wrote " the only reason she never tried to him to stop" should be "the only reason she never tried to get him to stop"
After Rosie headed out the door you wrote "Toontown was bright in color and was had clean streets" it should be "Toontown was bright in color and had clean streets"
After meeting the cab driver you wrote "Tosie couldn't blame him" should be "Rosie couldn't blame him"
But like I said they were very minor and didn't prevent me from enjoying your story
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crystalflora432
Recruit
Not sure why my birth year is showing up as 1999, I was born in 2003
Posts: 76 
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Post by crystalflora432 on May 27, 2021 0:52:51 GMT -5
Ok, I know I've been gone for awhile and I doubt anyone is interested in this story anymore, but I'm thinking about continuing this! I'm not sure when I'll get a new chapter out, though hopefully soon.
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