Psycho Todd

[psychogirl]

Just a few wuick things: This is my first weasel fic, so the characters might not be the way they usually are. Also this is supposed to be a parody, the first charpter is fairly serious though.
The fic itself came from one of these forums here. and I hope it's good!
Warning: Possibly ALOT of blood and gore in later chapters (If I do more)


It was a dark evening in a town outside of Toontown, the grey clouded skies creatimg an even more unwelcoming presence. Suddenly toons of many sizes and shapes, some familiar and others indistinguishable along with a few humans emerged from the darkness, solemn looks on their faces.

They stared at the blackened sky before opening their mouths, their voices bouncing around in perfect harmony.

"Attend the tale of Psycho Todd...
His muzzle was pale and his eyes were odd
He shaved the faces of gentlemen
Who never thereafter were heard of again
By Psycho..
By Psycho Todd...
The crazy weasel of Fleet Street!"

The cadence grew louder still as the oices raised to mere shreiks and wails as the song got greusomer by the second, slowly it came to a close.

"By Psycho... By Psycho Todd...
The Crazy Weasel of Fleet... Street!"

The group of strangers all stopped at once, seeming to flee from an invisible force, scrambling to find refuge from this unseen foe.

Slowly a figure emerged from the shadows. A pale weasel with light blue eyes and yellow rings around it, his features showed a young man gone mad, the white straight jacket he wore proving it.

The weasel looked around the now barren street as his lips curled into a grin, cackling madly to the sky as if in defiance.

To be continued...

I hope it was good, it might seem rushed but this was from an empty brain and not writing in a while... Ah well, hope you enjoyed it!

[shabushabu9]

not bad man.

[American Marten]

Nice work!

[psychogirl]

Wow, two comments in a few days!
Thanks you two, I'm gonna try to do a second chapter sometime soon by either a modification of this post or if someone comments again. ^^;

Thanks again AM, you are the one who gave the the idea! XD *I'd hug you if I could for it*

[American Marten]

You're welcome. ^^

[shabushabu9]

keep writing i want to see what is to be created

[psychogirl]

Hey! Sorry for the wait! It was hard to figure out how to start the second chapter. (My weakness) Anyways, here it is!

Psycho glanced around the abandoned street, a smirk still adorning his face. "So, this is what my fair town has become while I was away!" He gave a soft giggle, "No matter, it is still like the wretched, filthy, scum it was before." His eyes gleamed under the light of the parting skies as he glides through the scurrying crowds. He starts to hum a tune as he looks at the people and toons alike. "There's a hole in the world like a great black pit, and the vermin of the world inhabit it-"

"Well excuse me!" A mouse harumphed, crossing it's arms. "Not all of us are vermin!"

Psycho rolled his eyes, returning to his stroll down the streets, only stopping when he finds his old home, looking at it's shabby walls. "This is what has become of my home? I would like to see the no good, half-wit who did this!" He stormed into the building to find a pale woman with brownish-blonde, unkept hair, wearing mainly black clothing. She wasn't even looking at what she was chopping up, which was some kind of mouse and god-knows-what that green stuff was.

She glanced up at her work, blank grey eyes glowing when she caught sight of Psycho Todd.

"OMG PSYCHO TODD!!!" Already Psycho knew he was going to regret ever entering his house, even more as he was tackled to the floor. "Ah KNEW you'd come back one day!"

"What are you doing in MY house and HOW DO YOU KNOW MY NAME?!?!"

"I know alot about you!" She answered happily. "As for your house, I am the main caretaker of this place."

"...Ok then?" He answered cautiously, "Anyways, what is your name if I may ask?"

She beamed at the question, placing her hands on her hips proudly. "My name is Ms. Lovett."

"No, I mean your first name."

"Oh.." Her stance faltered. "I don't really know my first name, people just call me Ms. Lovett, sometimes I feel though that sometime I'm going to meet up with a man needing revenge that will kill many people and I'm gonna be known as his acomplise, with alot of contraversy about my real name being Marge or something like that.."

".... That is completly stupid..."

"That is what I say!" A wheezing voice called out. Psycho's ears perked up at the voice, head seaching for it's owner.

"Wheezy?"

"Long time no see" Wheezy answered, inhaling ten cigarettes in his mouth. "I see you met the crazy witch."

"Awww, he likes me!"

"Yes.. anyways I wanted to check up on the bakery you have, and no I don't want to try the food." Ms. Lovett drooped her shoulders, sighing sadly.

"Not good, ever since Mrs. Mooney has been using cats for her meat pies..." Wheezy immediatly started gagging, wretching loudly.

"What posesses you?"

There was a pause, Wheezy shuffling his feet around "...I just ate there.."

"Traiter!" Ms. Lovett exclaimed, glaring at the bluish-grey weasel who was laughing nervously.

"Anyways, I must be off, so many places, so little time..." He still was laughing nervously as he left, taking off in a sprint after he closed the door.

"What was with his nervousness."

Ms. Lovett slammed her knife down on the table beside her, giving a creepy smile. "Nothing, nothing at all!" She exclaimed, coming over to Psycho and placing an arm over him. "So, do what would you want to know about the town you left, how it's changed I mean."

Psycho Todd shuddered, knowing what he was going to ask would be bad. "What happened to my wife?"


Done! Hope it was funny! Also, I'm basing myself as Ms. Lovett, since I couldn't think of her as anybody from WFRR and I like to make fun of myself...

[American Marten]

Very nice work!

[psychogirl]

OH LORD! Sorry for the llooooonnnnggg update, I lost most of my motivation along the way of my school work and choir... Anyways I hope my motivation is back enough to make this chapter bearable. (GOD DANGIT!! MY FREAKING COMPUTER DELETED THE WHOLE STORY!! NOW I GOTA RE-WRITE IT!! *crying softly*)

Chapter 3

Ms. Lovett's face drooped at this statement. "Uh..." She sighed once again. "You better sit this one down, hun."

Already though, Psycho sat down on a chair, creating a plume of dust around the house. He hacked for a moment. "Just... Tell me already.." He wheezed like his bluish grey friend when he had one of his cigarettes.

"Someone call?" Wheezy asked, staring at the two others.

"No, Wheezy.." The ceiling answered. "We didn't call you..."

Ms. Lovett gasped. "THE CEILING GOD!!" She then proceeded to get down on her knees and bow. This earned her a few facepalms and groans.

"Then why did you refer to me?" He snapped back, glaring at said ceiling.

"We were using you in a SIMILE!"

"Assymetrical what?" Ms. Lovett asked, confusion written on her face. Again, she was answered by a few facepalms.

"NO!!! A SIMILE!!! As in refering to two things using 'LIKE' or 'AS'!" Ms. Lovett 'ooohhhh'ed at this. The ceiling once again groaned. "I don't even know why you're here..."

"That's what I've said!" Wheezy shouted, waving his arms frantically around.

"SILENCE!!" The ceiling shouted once again. "...Look, I'm writing this thing for the weasel fans here so they can lose a few brains cells, just do your parts and then you're home free. Alright?"

"Fine, just don't refer to me again.." Wheezy muttered, slamming the door shut."

There was a long pause, the two characters not knowing what to make of this.

The ceiling coughed, gaining the other two's attention. "Aren't you two supposed to be doing something?"

"OH YEA!!" Ms. Lovett exclaimed.

"... I don't even know why I made this..." The ceiling sighed once again.

"Cause you love us!!" She answered, getting back up and steeling her expression.

Psycho once again gulped, clenching his claws against the chair, creating a smaller billow of smoke, he wheezed once again, like-

"DON'T... JUST DON'T." Wheezy growled through the set's walls.

"Oh, Alright!" The ceiling called, exasperated.

"...Anyways..." Ms. Lovett cleared her throat, gaining Psycho's attention "Your wife, ya see. Pretty little thing, silly little nit. Had her chance for the moon on a string... Poor thing! Poor thing!"

"WHOAH! WHOAH!" Psycho interrupted, glaring at the crazed female. "Why are you singing this?"

"Because, " She started, pulling out a small script. "It says it right here." She opened the script, giving him it.

He read it over, seeing that, truthfully, she had to sing this. "Oh, FINE!" He pouted, crossing his arms in a childish way.

"..." Ms. Lovett cleared her throat again. " There was this judge, ya see... Wanted her like mad! Everyday he sent her a flower But did she come down from her tower? Sat up there and sulked by the hour Poor fool! Ah, but there was worse yet to come Pure thing! Well, Beadle calls on her all polite Poor thing! Poor thing! The judge, he tells her, is all contright. He blames himself for her dreadful plight. She must come straight to his house tonight! Poor thing! Poor thing! Of course when she goes there... Poor thing! Poor thing! They're having this ball all in masks. There's no one she knows there! Poor dear! Poor thing! She wonders, tormented and drinks! Poor thing! The judge has repented, she thinks. Poor thing! "Oh where is Judge Turpin?" she asks... He was there, alright! Only not so contright! She wasn't no match for such craft, ya see. And everyone thought it so drull. They figured she had to be daft, ya see. So all of them stood there and laughed, ya see! Poor soul! Poor thing!"

There was another long pause after this, the set's window having all broken and some buildings crashing down onto the ground from her singing.

".....THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE AT ALLL!!!" Psycho cried, flailing his arms in emphasis. "WHAT. HAPPENED. TO. HER?!"

Ms. Lovett reached over towards the weasel, patting his spiked fur, only to have them impale her hand.

"...ow.." She muttered, wrapping her hand around her dress. She sighed, "She poisoned herself... Arsenic, they said.."

Psycho looked at the female, eyes softening. "Why?" He asked, reverting his eyes to the floor. "Why would she do such a thing?" He whimpered for a moment, a tear falling onto the floorboards.

She grabbed the distressed weasel, hugging him tightly. "You were taken to prison, Barker.... They tormented her, with a heart such as hers.. She couldn't take it.."

"No..." He growled, pushing the lady away from himself.. "Not Barker, Barker's dead.."

"I KNEW IT!" She cried, forgetting that a moment ago he was crying. "You DO have MPD!!"

"NO! Well, she's right, you do.. SHUT UP!! NO YOU!! SILENCE!!!" He shook his head, clearing it from it's fog. "My name's no longer Benjamen Barker... It's Todd..." He put some shades over his face, pausing for the longest of moments to further dramatize this low-budgeted play. "Sweeny Todd." He then took off the sunglasses, his voice mimicking the guy who played 'James Bond'.

"DUN DUN DUUUNNNN!!!" Ms. Lovett cried, filling in for the dramatic music since this play was so cheap they weren't able to buy a stereo.

"... Wait... Did they even HAVE sunglasses back in the old days..?"

"SILENCE!!" The ceiling once again cried.


Well, there you go, It was better when I frist wrote it before my computer deleted it.... *Sniff* But here you go, chapter three...

[American Marten]

Not bad.

[psychogirl]

Yea, it was better when I first wrote it.. After my computer deleted it I re-wrote it fairly quickly.. ^^; I pray I don't make the rest this rushed....

[American Marten]

It's okay.