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Post by julayla on Jun 13, 2006 16:51:10 GMT -5
Hopefully, by the next chapter, the scar will be gone and that everything will be all right...for now anyway. Keep it up, VeggieGirl
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Post by FlameTheCharmander on Jun 13, 2006 17:43:51 GMT -5
AWWW! POOR PSYCHO!!! Good chapter, though. Maybe in the next chapter you should write what the weasels special power are or something. ;D
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Post by Veggirl on Jun 13, 2006 22:09:53 GMT -5
Heh, now I'm starting to wish I haven't put those magic powers in the fanfic.
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Post by Veggirl on Jun 14, 2006 3:22:31 GMT -5
I know! That's why I'm wishing I haven't put in magical powers.
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Post by julayla on Jun 14, 2006 11:23:44 GMT -5
Maybe it'll be like a temporary thing, like when the blue glow thing is gone back inside him (leaving a scar to him), Psycho would be normal again.
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Post by Veggirl on Jun 14, 2006 13:17:13 GMT -5
Try to find a way to take out the super powers part of the story, i know, it's maybe hard, but try it. Then without the super powers part, this story would be very fine. *sigh* Or else I would have to go back and modify every single chapter that mentions "super powers".
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Post by julayla on Jun 14, 2006 13:45:17 GMT -5
Maybe there would be kinda like a guardian or something that supposes that hides their powers and can not only bring them powers, but take them away as well (just not Darksin though).
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Post by Veggirl on Jun 24, 2006 10:38:56 GMT -5
Yeah, sorry about that. I am working on a few fanfics I have, but I'll try to squeeze another chapter in, so be patient.
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Rose
Recruit
"Ker-chink."
Posts: 63
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Post by Rose on Jun 24, 2006 14:22:47 GMT -5
Wow, this is adorable. I *adore* the characterization, and how you've incorporated this story into the movie as if it was what *really* happened off-camera. Amazing.
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Post by Veggirl on Jun 25, 2006 0:40:33 GMT -5
Thanks. Finally got a chapter written down!!!
13. Smart Guy’s story
“Once the boys come back, then it’s off to catch the rabbit.” Smart Guy said. “You seem determined to catch Roger.” Randall said. “He’s a criminal.” Smart Guy said. “That’s why we have to catch him.” “No, I think it’s something more.” Randall said. “There’s nothing more!” Smart Guy snapped. “Just that Roger’s a criminal and we’re the law.” Psycho grinned. “Heeheehee! Admit it boss, the only reason you want to catch Roger is because he murdered Marvin Acme.” “So he murdered Marvin Acme.” Randall said. “What’s so important about Marvin Acme?” “It will be better if boss tells you.” Psycho said. Randall turned to Smart Guy. “Well?” Smart Guy sighed. “All right, all right. I’ll tell you! Okay, it started when I was about six years old. One night, it was pretty normal. My mom and dad tucked me into bed as always and kissed me good night and all.” Smart Guy sighed. “But I couldn’t sleep that night, so I looked out my window. My mom and dad was talking to this Toon. I couldn’t see it’s face, I just saw it’s eyes and heard it’s voice.” “How did his eyes looked like?” Randall asked. Smart Guy looked away. “His eyes were red and swirling. And his voice was high and squeaky.” The way Smart Guy said it made chills go down Randall’s spine. “What happened then?” Smart Guy bit his bottom lip, obviously not wanting to talk about it. Psycho nudged him. Smart Guy sighed. “I saw him arguing with my parents about something, then...then, he got this water gun out and squirted...Dip at them! Then I saw them melting and then they were gone.” Randall stared at him. “They were dipped?” Smart Guy nodded. “I couldn’t go back to sleep after that. The next morning, the police came to take me to some orphanage in the human world. The runned-down ones where they beat the kids. But Marvin Acme didn’t want that so with the Toontown construction crew, he built a happy little orphanage just for orphaned Toon kids. It had everything bad orphanages don't have. Good food, warm beds and toys to play with. There, I met Grease, Wheeze and Stupid.” Smart Guy did a little sigh. “If it wasn’t for Acme, then I would have been stuck in an abusive orphanage. That’s why I want to get Roger and make him pay!” Randall looked at Smart Guy for a moment. Smart Guy now wasn’t the tough weasel he had known. Now Randall can see that deep down Smart Guy’s a really friendly guy. “Oh gee, I’m sorry.” Greasy, Wheezy and Stupid came down the alleyway. “What’s going on?” Greasy asked. Smart Guy shrugged. “Nothing. Well, found anything?” Wheezy shook his head. “Nope, the dame shook us off.” Smart Guy shrugged. “Fine, okay! Let’s just go down to Toontown and figure out a plan.” “You guys go.” Randall said, “I gotta think.” Smart Guy shrugged. “Okay then.” The weasels got into the van and drove off. Randall looked up at the sky. He wondered if the weasel’s parents were up there. Sighing, he walked off.
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Post by FlameTheCharmander on Jun 25, 2006 0:52:59 GMT -5
Aww! Poor Smart Guy! I feel so bad for him.
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Post by julayla on Jun 25, 2006 9:57:06 GMT -5
Awww...poor Smarty...it's more tragic than what I wrote about Greasy's mom being killed the same time Teddy Valiant was. *hugs Smart Guy* Poor him...
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Post by Veggirl on Jun 25, 2006 17:54:44 GMT -5
All right hyena fans, here's a chapter just for you! 14. Hyenas help out Going down the alleyway, Randall listened for any Trogs. Nothing. Then he heard a voice. "Hey snake boy," Randall turned. The hyenas, Shenzi, Banzai and Ed, stood in front of him. "What do you want?" Randall asked. "Look," Shenzi said. "We didn't mean to eavesdrop, but you know how hyenas have really good hearing senses. We heard what pink weasel said about his mom and dad being killed and what Marvin Acme did. Now me and the boys talked it over, and we decided someone who would kill a nice man like Marvin is just a plain lunatic." "So we're gonna help." Banzai said. Randall stared at them. "You mean it?" Shenzi nodded. "Yeah. Anyone gonna mess with the weasels, and they'll deal with us!" Randall grinned with happiness. "If I didn't know you would bite my head clean off, I would have kissed you!" "Ooh, good call." Shenzi said, narrowing her eyes. "Okay," Randall said. "The weasels said they were going to Toontown. Any one of you know where that is?" "Well duh!" Banzai said. "That's where we live. We'll just call a taxi." He went to the street and shouted, "TAXI!!!" Benny the cab came driving up. Randall yelped and turned invisible. "Did somebody called a cab or what?" Benny said. The hyenas and the invisible Randall got in. Then they were off. Benny dodged other cars and shouted a few insults. "HIT THE PEDAL GRANDMA! I'M NOT GETTING ANY YOUNGER HERE! HEY! PUT DOWN THAT HOTDOG! THIS ISN'T A CAFETERIA!!!" Randall held his head. "Doesn't he ever let up?" "He's a Toon cab." Shenzi explained. "He has to let everyone know he's coming." Finally they went in a tunnel where red curtains went up. A sun and singing trees greeted them. Smile, darn ya' smile! You know this whole world is a great world after all! Smile darn ya' smile! And right away watch ladyluck pay you a call! Things are never black as they are painted! Watch as you and joy will get aquainted! Make life worth while, come on and smile darn ya' smile!"This is where you live?!" Randall said in disbelief. Shenzi shrugged. "Get used to it, buddy."
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Post by julayla on Jun 25, 2006 18:29:23 GMT -5
Well, looks like the guys are now in Toon Town. I wonder what's in store for the weasels, Randall, and the hyenas...
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Post by Veggirl on Jun 25, 2006 18:53:30 GMT -5
Next chapter up.
15. Roger helps out
Benny the cab stopped at a run-down building. "The weasels hideout?! You sure?" "We're sure." Shenzi said. Benny shrugged. "Okay then. This is the last stop! Everyone out!" Randall and the hyenas got out. Benny drove off. Randall unblended himself and knocked on the door. "Hey guys! It's me, Randall!" Silence. "Come on guys, this is serious! Open the door!" "Oh, they won't be coming out." Randall and the hyenas turned. Darksin stood there, smiling evily. "You!" Randall hissed. "What have you done to them?" "I haven't done anything...yet." "Yet?" Shenzi said. "What do you mean, yet?" "I know what will happen, young lady." Darksin said. "Near midnight, the weasels will all die and I can take away their powers." "WHAT IS WITH THE POWERS?!!!" Randall shouted. "They have no magical powers!" "Not that you can see." Darksin said. "You are too blind to see the powers." "This guy is turning into a real nutcase." Banzai whispered to Ed. Ed giggled. "Just you wait," Darksin said. "The powers will be mine, and I shall rule the world!" Darksin disappeared. "Pfft!" Shenzi rolled her eyes. "Why do bad guys keep on saying that? Ruling the whole world!" "Come on," Randall said, running off. "Where are you going?!" Shenzi said, running after him. Randall turned his head toward her. "To find the weasels and stop Darksin's plan!" He wasn't watching where he was going and bumped into Jessica's car. The back hood popped open and Roger came stumbling out. He stood up and looked around. "What happened?! One minute I was about to whistle, and the next thing I know, it's good night nurse!" Randall stared at him. "What the heck are you talking about?" Roger looked at him. "Oh hello! Who are you?" Shenzi bared her fangs at him. "You're the guy who kille Marvin Acme!" "I didn't killed anybody!" Roger protested. "Sure I got mad about my wife playing Patty-cake with Marvin, but I would never kill him!" Randall held up his hands. "That's not important now! I gotta find the weasels!" "The weasels?!" Roger yelped. "Why them?!" "No time for explanation," Randall said. "We need transportation!" Banzai tapped Eddie's car. "How about this little beauty?" "Ooh! Let me drive!" Roger said, jumping in the driver's seat. The hyenas and Randall leaped in as Roger started the car. "Do you know how to drive?" Shenzi asked. "Sorta." Roger said. He pushed the pedals and the car went backwards. Everybody screamed as the car hit a fire hydrant. "My bad." Roger said and pushed the pedals, making the car zoom a lot more faster.
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