Post by Harley on Mar 3, 2009 14:14:54 GMT -5
didn't see the warning at the top of the page, sorry guys! fixed it up now.
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Four weasels sat around their old wooden table, one that looked like it was meant for a cabin. Splintery chairs circled the table, and along the walls were five old beds, all stuffed into a house that would be cramping for one, let alone five. Wheezy's smoke trailed fluttered from his nose, trailing off in the air of the house, well-scented with tobacco already.
"What's takin' him so long? He just went ta get our next case, sheesh." said Greasy, who's feet were propped up on the dirty table, his body leaning back in a chair, balanced on two legs.
"You know Boss," Wheezy began, "he always takes his time. he don't wanna come to this dump. we need a new place." he said, coughing, then taking another puff of his cigarette. Psycho was seated on his bed nearby, laughing happily and flipping the spikes of his hair with two of his fingers. he chuckled.
"Boss talks to the ladies!" the crazy weasel said, and Greasy groaned.
"That's my job. everyone knows the ladies like me the most. you can't resist somethin' like this!" Greasy said, running a paw back through his hair. Wheezy burst into a strained laughter, getting out a mixture of laughing and coughing.
"You? a ladies man? you must be dreamin', Grease. ain't no ladies gonna touch you!" Wheezy said, sending Psycho into a fit of laughter. Greasy cut his eyes around to Psycho, grabbing a plate off the table and tossing it at the crazy weasel, it shattering over his head and knocking him back unconscious.
"Shaddup you!" Greasy said as the plate made impact, and Stupid, who had been off in his own world until the shattering of the plate brought him back to this one, looked over.
"Daw, Grease...boss is gonna be mad at you! those plates is expensive, he says." said the large weasel, and Greasy rolled his eyes.
"Boss ain't gonna do nothin'. he needs each one of us. or me, at least." said the slick weasel, when another voice interrupted.
"Oh he ain't, eh?" said the different voice. Greasy rolled it off at first.
"Yea, he ain't! he's all bark and no b--," Greasy started, looking over to the door to see who the voice was. There stood Smart Guy, eyebrows raised under his large hat.
"BOSS!" Greasy gasped. the surprise shocked him so that he fell back with the chair he was in, tumbling backwards out of it. Sitting up, he looked to Smart Guy, who had shut the door behind him.
"What is Boss? go ahead, finish yer sentence." Smart Guy said. Greasy stuttered.
"B-b-b...all b-b-bark and no...no balderdash!" Greasy said. Wheezy coughed out a laugh.
"Nobody says that word no more, 'specially not you." Wheezy said, snuffing out his cigarette on the floor. Greasy and Smart Guy both cut their eyes to Wheezy.
"Shaddup!" Greasy barked, followed by Smart Guy chiming in.
"The heck you doin'?! don't put yer cigs out on our floor! that's how we get marks on the wood! ya dummy!" Smart Guy snapped, smacking Wheezy over the head, knocking him out of his chair into the floor with Greasy. Wheezy sat up, holding the back of his head.
"At least i ain't breakin' plates over Psycho's head like Grease! jeez. cut me some slack, boss. i ain't doin' nothin' to the wood that ain't already been done." Wheezy groaned. Smart Guy's eyes narrowed at Greasy, and then he turned them to Psycho, who was unconscious on his bed with chips of porcelain around him and a white porcelain powder in his hair. Smart Guy stormed over, grabbing Psycho by the neck of his "canadian long jacket", shaking him awake.
"Giddup! i said giddup you worthless tool!" Smart Guy growled, and Psycho's eyelids fluttered, opening slowly. He shook his head wildly, getting porcelain pieces on Smart Guy's suit. The boss weasel growled again, hitting Psycho over the head.
"Stop that! yer gettin' stuff all over my suit! i keep these things lookin' nice!" Smart Guy said, brushing his suit off. Psycho just looked him in the eyes, cackling wildly. Smart Guy grabbed the crazy weasel's nose, holding his mouth shut, the air from his laughs swelling in his mouth, puffing it up.
"See? laughin' is gonna kill you! you're all swollen!" Smart Guy said. he let go of Psycho's mouth, the air escaping in one gasp. He looked around, at all the weasels staring at him, and went back to cackling. This amused Stupid, who laughed under his breath. Smart Guy cut his eyes to him.
"You got somethin' to say, big guy?" he snapped, and Stupid shut his mouth quickly. Smart Guy groaned, turning back to the table, throwing down a stack of papers, standing over the table.
"Alright guys, pile in. we got ourselves a case. if we get this one, we'll be livin' large! lots of cash in on this one." Smart Guy began. The other four weasels piled in close, and Smart Guy continued.
"This guy, Jeremiah Hogg, he's got himself in a big mess. He's filthy stinkin' rich, and apparently someone tried t' take his money one night, and he beat this guy up, big time. So whoever can catch this guy and bring him in gets his loot! it's gotta go somewhere, right? So what does that mean?" he said. Stupid put up his paw.
"It means we get it!" he said, and Smart Guy nodded.
"Yeeea. you're thinkin' now!" he said, and Wheezy spoke up.
"So how's we supposed to catch this guy, Boss? i mean, if he ain't been caught yet, he's gotta be hard to find." he said, and Greasy nodded.
"Yea, we ain't had much luck with cases in forever. are ya sure we can do this?" he said. Smart Guy yelled.
"Of course we can ya idiots! We're the toon patrol, we ain't no chumps!" he said loudly, and Psycho nodded.
"So we's gonna follow the lead the boss gave us, and we'll catch this guy. it ain't gonna be hard, Smart Guy began, "All we gotta do is catch him. i've heard he hangs out near the warehouse at night. he does somethin' there. i dunno." Smart Guy said. Wheezy raised his eyebrows.
"So if'n it's that easy, why ain't nobody else caught him yet? the smoking weasel asked. Smart Guy yelled again.
"'Cause he's crazy! ain't nobody brave enough t' try!" the boss weasel said.
"So we's gonna head out to that warehouse tonight. it's gonna be good. we'll rough him up, and bring him in, then it's fancy livin' for us!" Smart Guy said.
~~~
"Ten o' clock. where is that fat pig?" Wheezy said. Greasy, across the warehouse, nodded.
"Yea, where is he Boss? he's s'posed to be here." he said. Smart Guy, who was next to him, growled.
"Y' think i know!? Maybe someone found out we's gonna be here." Wheezy began, when the sound of Psycho laughing could be heard down warehouse, echoing loudly. Stupid came out from his hiding place, as did Wheezy, the four weasels meeting up.
"What's he laughin' at?! he's gonna get us caught!" Greasy said through gritted teeth. Smart Guy hushed Greasy, and tiptoed towards where the laughing was coming from. peeking over a pile of boxes, his eyes widened. he looked back, waving for the other weasels to come closer. they all slinked closer, each peering over the boxers. Psycho was walking around Hogg, laughing. The pig was whispering.
"Sh-shut up! i don't want anyone to hear me! stop laughing!" he carried on, but Psycho continued. he got close to Hogg, looking at him.
"Piggy, piggy, piggy." he said, eyeing the pig up and down, then went back to walking around. Smart Guy looked back at the other weasels.
"this is gonna be easier than i thought!" Smart Guy said with a sly grin. He turned back to the other weasels while Psycho distracted Hogg.
"Mkay, so this is how it's going down. Wheezy, you go around their and stand near the exit in case he finds us. Stupid, you go with him. This guy's big. Greasy, you stay here and trip him if he tries to get away. i'll take care of the dirty work." the boss weasel said. Stupid and Wheezy ran off to their waiting place, and Greasy stayed where he was. Smart Guy slinked his way around through rows of boxes.
As he was walking, however, he hit the edge of a box, causing several to fall over. Hogg jerked back, seeing Smart Guy. The pig stepped back. he looked to his exit, which was blocked by Wheezy and Stupid, and then back, where Psycho was.
"Get 'em boys!" Smart Guy shouted. Wheezy and Stupid stepped in, followed by Greasy and Smart Guy, the five weasels circling the pig. Hogg looked around, cowering.
"Wha-what do you want!? Is it my reward? is that it?" he said, and Smart Guy laughed.
"O' course it is! Do ya think we was just doin' this for free?" Smart Guy said, and Hogg put up his hands.
"I-i'll pay! just let me go!" he said, and Smart Guy grinned wide.
~~~
"Ah, boys, this is the lift!" Greasy said, his feet atop a marbletop table, gold trim. Smart Guy was relaxing on his large plushy bed in a nice new suit, nodding.
"And to think we were gonna put all that work into just taking him to jail!"
---
Four weasels sat around their old wooden table, one that looked like it was meant for a cabin. Splintery chairs circled the table, and along the walls were five old beds, all stuffed into a house that would be cramping for one, let alone five. Wheezy's smoke trailed fluttered from his nose, trailing off in the air of the house, well-scented with tobacco already.
"What's takin' him so long? He just went ta get our next case, sheesh." said Greasy, who's feet were propped up on the dirty table, his body leaning back in a chair, balanced on two legs.
"You know Boss," Wheezy began, "he always takes his time. he don't wanna come to this dump. we need a new place." he said, coughing, then taking another puff of his cigarette. Psycho was seated on his bed nearby, laughing happily and flipping the spikes of his hair with two of his fingers. he chuckled.
"Boss talks to the ladies!" the crazy weasel said, and Greasy groaned.
"That's my job. everyone knows the ladies like me the most. you can't resist somethin' like this!" Greasy said, running a paw back through his hair. Wheezy burst into a strained laughter, getting out a mixture of laughing and coughing.
"You? a ladies man? you must be dreamin', Grease. ain't no ladies gonna touch you!" Wheezy said, sending Psycho into a fit of laughter. Greasy cut his eyes around to Psycho, grabbing a plate off the table and tossing it at the crazy weasel, it shattering over his head and knocking him back unconscious.
"Shaddup you!" Greasy said as the plate made impact, and Stupid, who had been off in his own world until the shattering of the plate brought him back to this one, looked over.
"Daw, Grease...boss is gonna be mad at you! those plates is expensive, he says." said the large weasel, and Greasy rolled his eyes.
"Boss ain't gonna do nothin'. he needs each one of us. or me, at least." said the slick weasel, when another voice interrupted.
"Oh he ain't, eh?" said the different voice. Greasy rolled it off at first.
"Yea, he ain't! he's all bark and no b--," Greasy started, looking over to the door to see who the voice was. There stood Smart Guy, eyebrows raised under his large hat.
"BOSS!" Greasy gasped. the surprise shocked him so that he fell back with the chair he was in, tumbling backwards out of it. Sitting up, he looked to Smart Guy, who had shut the door behind him.
"What is Boss? go ahead, finish yer sentence." Smart Guy said. Greasy stuttered.
"B-b-b...all b-b-bark and no...no balderdash!" Greasy said. Wheezy coughed out a laugh.
"Nobody says that word no more, 'specially not you." Wheezy said, snuffing out his cigarette on the floor. Greasy and Smart Guy both cut their eyes to Wheezy.
"Shaddup!" Greasy barked, followed by Smart Guy chiming in.
"The heck you doin'?! don't put yer cigs out on our floor! that's how we get marks on the wood! ya dummy!" Smart Guy snapped, smacking Wheezy over the head, knocking him out of his chair into the floor with Greasy. Wheezy sat up, holding the back of his head.
"At least i ain't breakin' plates over Psycho's head like Grease! jeez. cut me some slack, boss. i ain't doin' nothin' to the wood that ain't already been done." Wheezy groaned. Smart Guy's eyes narrowed at Greasy, and then he turned them to Psycho, who was unconscious on his bed with chips of porcelain around him and a white porcelain powder in his hair. Smart Guy stormed over, grabbing Psycho by the neck of his "canadian long jacket", shaking him awake.
"Giddup! i said giddup you worthless tool!" Smart Guy growled, and Psycho's eyelids fluttered, opening slowly. He shook his head wildly, getting porcelain pieces on Smart Guy's suit. The boss weasel growled again, hitting Psycho over the head.
"Stop that! yer gettin' stuff all over my suit! i keep these things lookin' nice!" Smart Guy said, brushing his suit off. Psycho just looked him in the eyes, cackling wildly. Smart Guy grabbed the crazy weasel's nose, holding his mouth shut, the air from his laughs swelling in his mouth, puffing it up.
"See? laughin' is gonna kill you! you're all swollen!" Smart Guy said. he let go of Psycho's mouth, the air escaping in one gasp. He looked around, at all the weasels staring at him, and went back to cackling. This amused Stupid, who laughed under his breath. Smart Guy cut his eyes to him.
"You got somethin' to say, big guy?" he snapped, and Stupid shut his mouth quickly. Smart Guy groaned, turning back to the table, throwing down a stack of papers, standing over the table.
"Alright guys, pile in. we got ourselves a case. if we get this one, we'll be livin' large! lots of cash in on this one." Smart Guy began. The other four weasels piled in close, and Smart Guy continued.
"This guy, Jeremiah Hogg, he's got himself in a big mess. He's filthy stinkin' rich, and apparently someone tried t' take his money one night, and he beat this guy up, big time. So whoever can catch this guy and bring him in gets his loot! it's gotta go somewhere, right? So what does that mean?" he said. Stupid put up his paw.
"It means we get it!" he said, and Smart Guy nodded.
"Yeeea. you're thinkin' now!" he said, and Wheezy spoke up.
"So how's we supposed to catch this guy, Boss? i mean, if he ain't been caught yet, he's gotta be hard to find." he said, and Greasy nodded.
"Yea, we ain't had much luck with cases in forever. are ya sure we can do this?" he said. Smart Guy yelled.
"Of course we can ya idiots! We're the toon patrol, we ain't no chumps!" he said loudly, and Psycho nodded.
"So we's gonna follow the lead the boss gave us, and we'll catch this guy. it ain't gonna be hard, Smart Guy began, "All we gotta do is catch him. i've heard he hangs out near the warehouse at night. he does somethin' there. i dunno." Smart Guy said. Wheezy raised his eyebrows.
"So if'n it's that easy, why ain't nobody else caught him yet? the smoking weasel asked. Smart Guy yelled again.
"'Cause he's crazy! ain't nobody brave enough t' try!" the boss weasel said.
"So we's gonna head out to that warehouse tonight. it's gonna be good. we'll rough him up, and bring him in, then it's fancy livin' for us!" Smart Guy said.
~~~
"Ten o' clock. where is that fat pig?" Wheezy said. Greasy, across the warehouse, nodded.
"Yea, where is he Boss? he's s'posed to be here." he said. Smart Guy, who was next to him, growled.
"Y' think i know!? Maybe someone found out we's gonna be here." Wheezy began, when the sound of Psycho laughing could be heard down warehouse, echoing loudly. Stupid came out from his hiding place, as did Wheezy, the four weasels meeting up.
"What's he laughin' at?! he's gonna get us caught!" Greasy said through gritted teeth. Smart Guy hushed Greasy, and tiptoed towards where the laughing was coming from. peeking over a pile of boxes, his eyes widened. he looked back, waving for the other weasels to come closer. they all slinked closer, each peering over the boxers. Psycho was walking around Hogg, laughing. The pig was whispering.
"Sh-shut up! i don't want anyone to hear me! stop laughing!" he carried on, but Psycho continued. he got close to Hogg, looking at him.
"Piggy, piggy, piggy." he said, eyeing the pig up and down, then went back to walking around. Smart Guy looked back at the other weasels.
"this is gonna be easier than i thought!" Smart Guy said with a sly grin. He turned back to the other weasels while Psycho distracted Hogg.
"Mkay, so this is how it's going down. Wheezy, you go around their and stand near the exit in case he finds us. Stupid, you go with him. This guy's big. Greasy, you stay here and trip him if he tries to get away. i'll take care of the dirty work." the boss weasel said. Stupid and Wheezy ran off to their waiting place, and Greasy stayed where he was. Smart Guy slinked his way around through rows of boxes.
As he was walking, however, he hit the edge of a box, causing several to fall over. Hogg jerked back, seeing Smart Guy. The pig stepped back. he looked to his exit, which was blocked by Wheezy and Stupid, and then back, where Psycho was.
"Get 'em boys!" Smart Guy shouted. Wheezy and Stupid stepped in, followed by Greasy and Smart Guy, the five weasels circling the pig. Hogg looked around, cowering.
"Wha-what do you want!? Is it my reward? is that it?" he said, and Smart Guy laughed.
"O' course it is! Do ya think we was just doin' this for free?" Smart Guy said, and Hogg put up his hands.
"I-i'll pay! just let me go!" he said, and Smart Guy grinned wide.
~~~
"Ah, boys, this is the lift!" Greasy said, his feet atop a marbletop table, gold trim. Smart Guy was relaxing on his large plushy bed in a nice new suit, nodding.
"And to think we were gonna put all that work into just taking him to jail!"
