Used to be a Funhouse...

[ZootyCutie]

(Before this story is started, I'd like to tell you that Kit T. Catt is my own character.)



"Don't go in there!"

"It's haunted!"

"You'll be cursed!"

These were some of the things that the Toons would say, talking about the old ACME factory. Many years ago, a heroic battle took place, saving Toontown from being Dipped. Now, the ACME factory is long shut down, yet still standing. No one dares to speak of it by name, or go into it. Everyone thinks it haunted. Haunted by five weasels. Well, everyone thinks so, except for one Toon...

"...Your mind is in disturbia
It's like the darkness is the light.
Disturbia
Am I scaring you tonight?
Disturbia
Ain't used to what you like.
Disturbia
Disturbia, oh oh oh!"

These were the last lines of the song Disturbia, sung by a cat. Well, not just any cat. A Toon cat. She had mango fur, a tan belly, small pointy ears, a pink button nose, large eyelashes, and wore a green collar with a blue diamond ID and a green bow that held a small tuft of hair. She stood on two legs, and acted just like a human. She was Kit T. Catt, a fairly new toon, yet everyone seemed to like her. Her backup band was a gang of crows that had aided a little elephant in the past, and the dance floor was full of humans and Toons alike feeling the music entrap them. It was the Ink and Paint Club: Model 2.0. Now run by Miss Spider, the old lounge was now a nightclub. After the applause faded, Kit slid offstage, and into the bar area, where a Toon centipede in a New York-style newsboy outfit was running it, using his twelve hands to tend to different tasks.

"Yo, barkeep!" Kit called out in her Bronx accent, as the centipede slid over to tend to her.

"What will it be, hot stuff?" the centipede asked, in a New York accent as well.

"Da usual, Commodore." Kat said, using a nail file (which she grabbed out of hammerspace).

"You got it!" Centipede said, using his multiple limbs to mix the drink and receive his payment.

As Kit enjoyed her drink, and started a conversation with any Toon sitting next to her, she had no notice that two other Toons were watching her. They were both snakes, looking a little similar, but different in a way. One of the snakes was an olive green, with a tan belly, brown spots on the top, and the whites of his eyes were yellow. The other snake was a lighter green, with a mustard belly, and he wore a red cape with a maroon brooch, and a red and orange hat with a blue feather, plus a gap in his teeth.

"Issss sssshe the one?" The first one asked, using his tail to point to Kit.

"Yesss. Sssshe's perfect!" The second one replied, with a British accent.

The two snakes slithered over to Kit, who was moping to herself.

"Nothin' evah happens in 'dis town. It's so borin'!" Kit said to herself, or so she thought...

"Excussse ussss..." The first snake said, catching Kit's attention.

"What do you want?" Kit asked, swiveling in her barstool.

"We couldn't help but notice that you're bored..." The second snake added.

"What's it to ya?" Kit asked, getting sassy.

"We can fix that very eassssily..." Both of the snakes said at the same time, making their eyes swirl in hypnotizing patterns and colors, as Kit watched, falling into a deep, heavy trance...

[Weasel Freak]

Ooh, nice first chapter. It's Kaa and Sir Hiss, isn't it? *waves flag with snake on it* I'm a fan! 83

[Eternity]

Nice beginning. I hope to read more soon!

[ZootyCutie]

Kit was soon in an impossible looking daze, her eyes as pale and blank as the full moon that lit up Toontown's night sky tonight. A small snap was heard, and she suddenly snapped out of the daze, and Kit soon walked to the back door of the club, with a few Toons taking notice, including one of her best friends, and armless female hippie that sort of looked like a broom.

"Kit, where are you going?" She asked.

"Something came up, Marzipan." Kit simply said, leaving the club, and also leaving many confused faces.

Kit walked on the Toontown side of the two worlds, paying no attention to any city life, walking to a place that no one would dare to go anymore: The Acme Factory. Kit easily scaled the wire fence that now covered the border around the factory. The hole where a Dip Machine drove through the factory was covered with yellow warning tape. Pulling out her claws in her her right paw, she slashed the tape open.

"No fear. I don't know what fear even is." Kit said, as her teeth chattered a little.

The factory was dark and damp, with a strange paint thinner-like smell in the air, and the concrete floors tinted an odd yellow-green color. Even though most of the props that were once stored here were taken out, a few remained, like Portable Holes, Singing Swords, and a non-Toon steamroller that had glue on the front wheel. The strangest, and probably scariest sight was of a black outfit with a faded rubber mask in the middle of the floor, that looked like it had Toon paint on it. Kit shuddered at the sight, then her cat ears picked up some noises. It was talking.

"All right, ya mugs!" A male New York accent said. "We're finally escapin' this joint!"

"Escape?" A male voice said, with a smoker's wheeze to it. "We can't escape! We've been missing for years!"

"Eh, so they just get a heart attack, an' everything eez better!" A male Hispanic voice said.

"Duh, what's a heart attack?" A male, and slightly slow sounding voice asked.

"Heh, with all that fat, you should of had one years ago!" A male voice joked, in a shrill and high pitched voice.

After that last comment, all five of the voices started arguing, so Kit couldn't make out the voices. She scanned the building, and noticed a staircase that led up to a small room. She couldn't see any clear features in the room, but she saw five silhouetted figures moving in the room, looking like they were fighting. Kit cautiously walked up the stairs, and used her claws to scale the section. She made it to the top of the section, and noticed a trap door on the roof area. There was a string attached to it.

"Must...not...do...it..." Kit tried to restrain herself, but her cat instincts took in, and she playfully started batting the rope. Unfortunately, this opened the door, making her fall into the room (but being a cat, she thankfully landed on her feet).

"What the?" She heard the New York accent from behind her.

"Looks like we got a spy, eh boss?" The Hispanic accent asked.

"Tie 'er up." The New York accent said, and Kit felt herself being hoisted up, and bound and gagged to a chair.

"Now, I'm gonna ask you 'dis once," The New York voice said, revealing himself as a weasel! One of the weasels that was told stories about! Pretty soon, the four other figures came out, revealing themselves as the other weasels!

"I'm gonna ask you 'dis once," The New York accented weasel repeated. "What are ya doing here?"

[Larissa Gaines. (:]

Ooooh, nice, veeery nice! (Cool. Disturbia. I love that song!! ) Continuation!!!!!!! Please? Thank you!!

[Eternity]

This story gets better and better!

[ZootyCutie]

"Looks like she's not gonna say anything, eh boss?" The Hispanic weasel said.

"Nah, we'll make 'er talk." The New York accented one said, putting on a black non-Toon glove, and picking up a dried chip of a green-yellow substance. "Back up, boys..."

"Duh, is that...?" The largest and slow sounding weasel asked.

"Yep, it's Dip..." The leader said, walking towards Kit.

"Dip!?!?!" Kit asked from under her gag.

"You won't feel anything after this..." The leader said, nearing Kit, as she sweated, and trying to wriggle out of the ropes holding her, but with no luck. One of the weasels, the smoking one, with blue-grey fur, instead of brown like the others, was twitching. As if it was a sudden reflex, he ran up to his boss, and stepped on his foot, making him drop the dried up piece of Dip, and the remaining weasels stared at him in shock.

"Wheezy!" The smallest, and psychotic looking one said in shock. "Why did you do that?"

"Why should he go around hurting a lost Toon?" Wheezy asked, loosening Kit's rope, and taking off her gag. "He's not Judge Doom!"

"Why are you helping me?" Kit whispered to Wheezy.

"Just run!" He whispered back, but the leader was blocking the door.

"Smarty. Get out of the doorway." Wheezy said.

"Let me think, no." Smarty said.

"Now." Wheezy said.

"You better do what he says, boss." The Hispanic one said, looking a little nervous.

"Not now, Greasy." Smarty said, through gritted teeth.

"Yeah, listen to your teammates." Kit said, flexing her paw digits, looking a little intimidating.

"I'm scared!" the big one said, trying to hide under the chair that Kit was previously in, and the small one hid behind him.

"Stupid, Psycho, stop hiding!" Smarty said. "She's just a spitty little kitty that's not going to hurt me."

"You just sealed your fate." Kit said, pulling her claws out, and started shredding at Smarty's pink suit, leaving multiple rips in it.

"My suit! My only suit!" Smarty said, then started to growl at Kit, who just stood there, looking proud of herself.

"Oh, boy..." Greasy said, then pulled Wheezy away, and they both went to hide behind Stupid.

Suddenly, Smarty got on all fours, and lunged at Kit, who jumped over him. Since the door was free, she opened it.

"Well, so long boys!" Kit said, walking out, shutting the door behind her, or so she thought. Smarty quickly stuck his good foot into the door, so it didn't close all the way, and the five of them cautiously watched Kit going the way she came into the factory.

"Boys," Smarty said, looking confident. "We are bustin' out tonight!"

[Eternity]

Good chapter, though I'm a little surprised Kit didn't question how they could be alive all this time. I would have been like "You didn't die?! How did you survive?"

[Weasel Freak]

Nice chapter, but I'll have to agree with Eternity. And would Wheezy really call Smart Ass "Smarty"? Would he dare even think it??

[ZootyCutie]

Kit shivered as she scaled the fence to leave the factory. It was a mix of the coldness of outside, and the fact that her braveness was now scarred with the thought of weasels. Doing a trick that her friend Basil taught her, she spun around, and gained a pink cat-eared hat, and white mittens. She then stuck out her thumb (or at least, the digit that looked as close to a thumb as possible), and a familiar yellow cab sped up to her side, though wearing a red scarf around his muffler.

"Hey, Kit! Hop in!" He said. It was none other than Toontown's local taxi, Benny!

"Hi, Benny." Kit said, sounding a little scared, as she walked in.

"Somethin' troubling ya?" Benny asked, as he shut the door behind her. "By the way, where to?"

"Home, and yes, something is troubling me." Kit said, as Benny sped down the road to Kit's house.

"Well, you can tell Benny anything!" Benny said, sounding proud. "I'll keep it a secret."

"Well, it involves these five weasels, and-" Kit was saying, and Benny suddenly skidded to a stop.

"Did you say weasels...?" Benny said, making sure he heard right.

"Yeah." Kit said. "They looked weird. Why did they dress like they were from the 40s?"

"Because...because...they were..." Benny said, sighing.

"What?" Kit asked, not understanding.

"Remember that Eddie Valiant story that Roger told you when you were first cast into the cartoons?" Benny asked.

"Yeah, but he never mentioned anything about weasels." Kit said, wondering why.

"Yeah, the five of them worked for Judge Doom. Four of them died laughing, the leader got Dipped." Benny said.

"But I thought Dip was the only way to kill a Toon!" Kit said in shock. "What about all of those cartoons I've seen where they die? They come back! They do!"

"Well, those Toons can come back..." Benny said, looking like he wanted to change the subject.

"But then why did the leader come back?" Kit asked.

"...I didn't want to show this to you, but here." Benny then pulled out a clear piece of paper with Smarty inked and painted onto it.

"What is it?" Kit asked, viewing it from different angles.

"It's a cel." Benny said. "It's what Toons are created from. even if Toons are dipped, the cels stay, but they're normally sold to the humans."

"But, why does Smarty have his cels, and why is he still alive?" Kit asked, utterly confused.

"Well, Toons are just...scans...of the cels." Benny said, trying to find the right word.

"So the others must have re-scanned one of his cels, and he's back!" Kit said, utterly terrified.

"Yeah, but the weasels will stay in there, unless that warning tape was broken by something." Benny said.

"Yeah...they'll stay..." Kit said, looking even more nervous, as she knew what she did.

"Okay, we're at your stop." Benny said, and was about to leave, when he noticed something. "You might want to go to Lost and Found, Kit. You're ID's missing."

As Benny sped off into the distance, Kit felt her collar, and her ID tag was missing!

"Eh, I'll search tomorrow." Kit said, opening her door, which was surprisingly unlocked. She took of her winter gear, and walked up the stairs to her room, and turned on the light, but nothing could have expected her for the shock she was about to get. Inside her room were the weasels, and Smarty was holding onto her ID!

"Missed us?" Smarty asked, with an evil snicker, as Kit fainted.

"...Nice going, boss." Greasy said.

[Eternity]

Uh-oh...the weasels are free, and Kit's in real trouble. Nice cameo by Benny.

[ZootyCutie]

After the little shocker, Kit eventually gained consciousness, and the weasels were staring her in the face.

"If you guys don't get out of here, I'll report you!" Kit said, swiping her ID from Smarty.

"You'll just be retorting us to ourselves!" Smarty said.

"Really?" Kit said sarcastically, as she clipped her ID back on. "Because the last time I checked, you guys didn't look like a 6 foot dog or a 3 foot hyperkinetic rabbit thingy."

"What are you talking about?" Smarty said, starting to lost his patience.

"Duh, I think she means we got replaced." Stupid suggested.

"That was a reciprocal question." Smarty muttered under his breath.

"Boy, for a police squad, you're not that good of one." Kit taunted, and Smarty grabbed the first thing he could find to chuck at her, which was a picture frame. Kit quickly caught it, and looked at it, then sighed and left the room, letting the picture drop behind her.

"What's her problem?" Psycho asked, as Wheezy picked up the picture and looked at it.

"Hey, does this person look familiar to you guys?" Wheezy asked, as the other weasels gathered around him. In the picture was a senior citizen at work at a drawing table. He was working on a rough sketch of a kitten version of Kit. Surrounding him were baby kit versions of the Toon Patrol, only they were completely colored and finished, not to mentioned framed. An almost illegible signature was written on the picture.

"Who is this guy?" Greasy asked, trying to get a better view.

"I think...he was our creator..." Wheezy said, as his cigarette started to burn out, but he didn't notice. "...And that cat's creator..."

"So...she's like related to us or something...?" Psycho asked.

"Not really...but we've got a connection to her..." Wheezy said.

"Oh, that's just great!" Smarty said. "I'm connected to that spitty little kitty? Just great!"

"Looks like you've got some issues to work out, eh boss?" Greasy said, snickering a little.

"Oh, get off my back, Greasy!" Smarty yelled, as he stomped out of the room, and Kit walked in.

"Did you hear all of that, or do we have to repeat ourselves?" Psycho asked.

"No, I heard it." Kit said.

There was a long silence after that, with a few coughs (courtesy of Wheezy), until Kit finally broke it.

"So...you need somewhere to stay?"


(Side notes:

Smarty's malapropisms:
retorting-reporting
reciprocal-rhetorical
Also, the word kit really is a baby version of a weasel)

[Eternity]

Another good chapter. So they have the same animator, eh? It's good that you keep the malapropisms, that's a vital part of Smart Guy's character. One thing though, I find it odd that Kit didn't confront them with why they agreed to help Doom wipe out Toontown.

Btw, nice reference to Ricochet Rabbit and Droop-a-Long.

[ZootyCutie]

Kit was now busy at work, cooking enough food for her and the Toon Patrol (or at least for of them, Smarty was still pretty steamed about being connected to Kit). She was making spaghetti, and telling a story to the weasels.

"...So I says to the guy," Kit was wrapping up, while filling the plates. "I says to him 'I don't care if you're the meanest villain in Toontown, you're a lousy pet-sitter'!"

"Wow, did you really say that?" Psycho said, awestruck with the story.

"Well, I thought it." Kit admitted. "But, like, if he could read minds he'd be all like 'wha?'"

Kit then placed the plates at the table, and sat down. Smarty just growled a little, and ate a single dry piece of toast. On the other hand, the other members loved the food.

"This is amazing!" Wheezy said.

"Never had anything like it!" Greasy said, shoving another few bites into his mouth.

"Um, it's good." Stupid simply said.

"Oh, it's nothing, really." Kit modestly said.

"Are you kidding? It's great!" Psycho said. "Boss, you gotta try this stuff!"

"It was said that the newest harpoon from our creator could live on only the ink and paint that it was created with." Smarty said, without looking up.

"Guess my body still doesn't know that I'm the newest cartoon from him." Kit said. "Gonna be hard to live on only ink...and paint...juice..." She then shoved a bite of food into her mouth, so she could avoid the conversation.

"Come on, boss, eat it!" Greasy said.

"Yeah, listen to your teammates." Kit said, as she viewed her reflection in her fork.

"No." Smarty said.

"Smarty, eat." Psycho said, shoving his own fork into his boss' face, while Smarty shoved it away. "Eat the food!"

With his last line, Psycho threw his forkful of food into Smarty's face, as the other members backed away.

"Oh, my dear Psycho," Smarty said, grabbing Psycho in a chokehold. "I believe you've gone and upset me. You know what happens when someone upsets me..."

Smarty then took out a gold bell from under his hat, and rang it. He waited. And waited. And waited some more.

"Why isn't this working!?!?" Smarty finally screamed out.

"Because you're not Ratigan, and I don't keep any hawks or snakes in my house." Kit said, using her claw as a makeshift toothpick.

"...I don't like you." Smarty said, letting Psycho out of the chokehold.

"You say that, but I really know how you feel." Kit said.

"No, I really don't like you." Smarty said.

"...The feeling is likewise." Kit said, flicking the food that she had in her teeth at Smarty.

"...Just be glad catgut isn't really made from cats..."

(Side note
harpoon-cartoon)

[Eternity]

This new chapter is good. I'd like it if in a future chapter Kit confronts Smarty and demands to know why he agreed to help Doom. What will the rest of Toontown think when they find out that Kit is giving food and shelter to the biggest traitors in Toon history?