James and the Giant Peach Parody

[theamericanmarten]

The following fic is a parody of James and the Giant Peach.
JatGP (c) Disney and Allied Filmmakers
Paige, her uncles, and the Wolf Pack are all owned by me!

~Prologue~

Up until she was about four years old, Paige Marion Coyote had a happy life living with her mother and father in the countryside of southern Indiana. Her parents gave her nice clothes to wear, toys to play with, and, of course, there were other children to play with, too. Paige had her parents and her dreams during this kind of life. But the family promised each other to go on a big trip to South Dakota's beautiful Black Hills and live close to Mt. Rushmore.

However, one day, when Paige's parents went to Indianapolis to do some shopping, a terrible thing happened. Her parents were attacked and eaten by an angry polar bear that escaped from the Indianapolis Zoo. But it was then shot down and killed by the local police and wildlife authorities. The parents' troubles, if they had any at all, were over in thirty seconds flat.

Paige's troubles, however, were just beginning. She was sent to live with her uncles, Maxwell (a fox) and Mort (a fisher). They hated her. For instance, instead of calling the little coyote her real name, they called dirty names like "you nastly little bug," or "you rotten little beast." Also, they made her live in a cold room in the attic with no toys to play with or picture books to read. The two uncles made poor Paige do all their yardwork, laundry, and dishes. Children were forbidden to visit that dirty Indiana hill, and Paige was forbidden to leave it. Now, more than ever, Paige REALLY longed for a visit to South Dakota as well as some new friends who respected her.

To be continued...

[Mellow]

I can'twait to see what happens next. Keep it up!

[theamericanmarten]

~Chapter 1~

After living with her uncles for four whole years, Paige was starting to feel miserable and fed up with Maxwell and Mort. One day, Maxwell and Mort were sitting out in the yard drinking raspberry lemonade mixed with gin. And Mort recited this poem:

Ah, look and smell,
I do declare,
As lovely as a rose,
Just feast your eyes upon my face.

Observe my shapling nose,
Behold my heavenly silk fur locks,
And if I take off both my socks,
You'll see my dainty toes.

Then Maxwell joined in:
But don't forget, my faithful Mort,
How less your tummy shows!

Really, Mort smelled like a wedge of moldy cheese, his face was decorated with grease and acne, his nose was short and stubby, his fur had dandruff flakes everywhere, and his toes were actually quite smelly and covered in warts. But he was very skinny, compared to Maxwell, who was quite obese but more intelligent than Mort, who wasn't very bright.

To be continued...

PS: That poem is actually based on an original poem from the book James and the Giant Peach (I just replaced the character "Sponge" with Mort).

[cutieweasel]

Nice Chapter and keep up the good work there AM

[theamericanmarten]

Thanks. ^^

~Chapter 2~

While the two uncles were enjoying their day, Paige, having finished her work, was sitting by the old dried up pond in the garden, looking at the brochere of South Dakota that her father gave her before he and her mother were killed. Just then, the two brutes found her. "You lazy tick!" said Mort, "Who told you to stop working?!?" "I finished the work," Paige said meekly. Maxwell snatched her brochere. "A brochere?" he snarked, "How dare you even DREAM of leaving!" "This is the only home you'll ever have," said Mort. "No one else would tolerate a worthless little snake like you," said Maxwell. "Where did you get this?" asked Mort, looking at Paige's brochere. "Father gave it to me," said Paige, "He said we'd go to the Black Hills someday."

"Stupid foolish man," said Maxwell. "Foolish man always dreaming," added Mort, "That's what got him killed!" "And your mother!" "They just had their heads toward the mall when they REALLY weren't looking where they were going!" "They never even SAW that polar bear coming," said Maxwell. "That polar bear!" Mort teased. "And the beast will get you, too," said Maxwell, "If you don't behave." "So get these stupid dreams out of your head," yelled Mort, tearing the brochere in pieces, "And get back to work!" Paige sighed sadly as the pieces of the brochere scattered away in the wind.

To be continued...